October Musings...

It's October already! Wow! Is anyone else amazed at how quickly September flew by?

Well, it's been awhile since I posted anything on this blog. It's been a very busy last couple of weeks! Forgive me for my absence....

 "The preoccupations of young women…do not change very much from generation to generation. But in every generation there seem to be a few who make other choices."

– Elisabeth Elliot –

I've read this quote before, but lately I've been thinking a lot about this. I'm turning 18 tomorrow and there's something about birthdays that cause me to reflect.

I want to be one of those few....those few who choose to reject the typical pattern of a young woman and live a life of radical abandonment to Christ. I don't want to be obsessed by the newest movies, caught up in the latest fashion trends, or absorbed in seeking the attention of young men. I don't want to waste my life in comfortable apathy. 

I want Christ. I want to be full of Him, used by Him, and in love with Him. Oh, how I want to be one of those few in this generation that would pursue Christ, no matter what anyone might say or do. 

I desire these things so much...and yet I see how far I am from them. 

I still see the reeking selfishness in my heart, the bitter pride that bites and attacks those closest to me. I am grieved to observe my disobedient heart, my judgmental mind, and my piercing tongue. 

I know. He is sanctifying me. He is continuing to grow me up and chisel off the ugliness. But sometimes, doesn't it feel like it's taking forever? Or that it's not even happening at all? 

Oh God, help my unbelief!

I'm reminded of 2 Corinthians 12:9.

“'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me."

How good it is to know that my sanctification rests in His hands! His grace is sufficient and I can trust that He will continue to do what He has promised to complete. 

But oh, that doesn't mean that I will ever stop praying and pleading with my Father! He is the only One who can make me one of those "few;" I must continue to ask Him, as He has commanded, to seek His ever-straying servant. It is only through His extended grace that I will ever seek, love, and serve Him more. 

May the Lord make this following verse the prayer of our hearts....

"Turn away my eyes from looking at vanity, and revive me in Your ways." Psalm 119:37

What I pray to become...

"They say there is a young lady in New Haven who is beloved of that Great Being who made and rules the world. They say that He fills her mind with exceeding sweet delight, and that she hardly cares for anything except to meditate on Him. If you present all the world to her, with the richest of its treasures, she disregards it. She is unmindful of any pain or affliction. She has a singular purity in her affections. You could not persuade her to compromise her true Love even if you would give her all the world. She possesses a wonderful sweetness, calmness, and kindness to those around her. She will sometimes go about from place to place, singing sweetly. She seems to be always full of joy and pleasure, and no one knows exactly why. She loves to be alone, walking in the fields and groves, and seems to have Someone invisible always conversing with her."

~Written of Sara Edwards by Jonathan Edwards, her future husband
(from Marriage to a Difficult Man by Rachel Dodd)