Expectant Joy

Happy New Year, friends! Anyone else out there still finding themselves writing 2015? It's okay. We'll get it...eventually. Maybe by 2017? ;)


A new year - a fresh canvas with endless possibilities.

Last year's canvas is a bit painful to look at. Yes, there are colorful splashes of exciting adventures, new seasons, and great blessings, but there's also more brush strokes of brokenness, confusion, and disappointment than I've seen in previous years.

At the beginning of 2015, I believed the Lord was leading me to focus on the word "trust" for the upcoming year. It makes me smile to think of it. He brought that up in far more ways than I could ever have imagined - or would have wanted to.

In the past few weeks, as I'd been pondering a new year and what it might hold, there was a sense of apprehension and fear. The Lord had allowed much of my beliefs to be upended in 2015. I thought He was working in a specific way, only to find out He was doing the opposite. A saying that a dear friend framed and gave to me as a gift, sums up what He was teaching me: "And if not, He is still good."

And He is good, friends. So good. Looking back at that dark time, I'm amazed at the patience and love He showed me, as I struggled through doubts and confusion and anger at His will.

He's brought me through, but it wasn't until I began to think about 2016 that I realized there were still some lies rooted in the deep, dark corners of my heart. Where was this fear and apprehension coming from? Why was I seemingly preparing myself for another year of pain and unanswered prayers? Why was I so negative about the future?

Even though I still believed that God is good and He causes all things to work together for my good and His glory, there was a little lie that said, "God might give good gifts to the rest of His children, but not to you. His good for you is pain and suffering." So as a result, I was expecting the worst.

Friends, that's a miserable way to live! It is definitely NOT walking in the hope and life of Christ! And what is hope but the confident expectation and assurance of God? Yes, sometimes His good comes in the form of a "no". It's what I've been calling His devastating grace.

But hope is based, not in what I am or am not getting from God, but in who He is and the unchanging nature of His character. And because of that, I can expect good from God in chaos, I can be confident that He's still working good in the shattered pieces.

Because His name is Faithful and True.

Because He is NOT cruel to His children. Ever.

Because He is a dearer Daddy than my mind can comprehend.

My word/phrase for this year is expectant joy. Purposeful, hope-filled, moment-by-moment joy and delight in Who He is and all that He's doing. Not seeking to rush ahead to when ____ happens, but living in grateful contentment right here, right now. Rejoicing because in His presence is fullness of joy, not a situation or a person or a specific season.

One definition of expectant is watchful, with bated breath. That's how I want to approach 2016. I have so much to learn in this area, so far to grow, but I pray that He would make me like the psalmist who said, "Come and hear, all who fear God, and I will tell of what He has done for my soul." (Psalm 66:16) That as I go through this year, with all its uncertainties and questions, I would watch for the testimonies of grace and excitedly declare, "Look! There He is again! Look at what He's done! Isn't He good?"

In the pain. In the triumph. When He gives and when He takes away. Through the desert and through the mountains. When I can see the next mile ahead of me and when I can barely make out the next step.

I'm excited for 2016, friends, incredibly excited! I know the One who's promised to lead me by the hand every step of the way. Let's watch for His goodness together!

So, what about you? What has the Lord been laying on your heart for 2016? I would love to hear about it!

I'm back!

May 31, 2014.

That was the date of my last blogpost. Wow. Has it really been over a year and a half since I wrote on my blog?

It's amazing to think how much has happened in that time. All the different seasons of life, the trials, the joys, the questions, the growing. In that time, I've moved to Colorado to work at a ministry for almost a year, moved back home again, and have been homeschooling my cousin since September. Maybe more of those stories will come later...

I actually wasn't planning on resurrecting Unmerited Redemption. I thought my blog days had come and gone - and I was alright with that.

You see, around the time of my last blogpost, the Lord began opening my eyes to something that had been growing and festering and eating away at so much of my life. Pride...disguised as holiness. That's the ugliest kind.

Self-righteousness. Comparing my "standard" to others and judging those not following them. The list of do's and dont's. Beliefs that I clung to and boasted in. And I was blinded to how deep the pride had burrowed in my heart.

Jesus started shining His light in my heart and showing me the uglies. So, I stopped writing. I didn't want to continue a blog that had been used to boost my selfishness. But friends, the precious thing about our Savior is that He doesn't leave us in the uglies. He doesn't show us our sin to lead us to shame, to live in condemnation, or to hide from Him in guilt. He shows us our sin to lead us to the cross. To lead us to His perfection and the strength that only He can give.

That's the beauty of sanctification, of redemption. He can take what I've done with prideful motives and redeem it to show off the beauty of the cross. "For My power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Paul understood this, didn't he? In the last part of that verse he writes, "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." In the blogging world, there's an appeal (at least for me) to hold up a mask and try to show off my "put-together" Christianity. To look as clean and neat as possible. But that's not what I'm here to do. That's not what shows off my Jesus. I'm here to boast in His strength, to celebrate the victories He brings, and be open and honest about the struggles that are real. The difficulties that seem overwhelming or hopeless. The pain that feels pointless. Masks off, okay? Because we might all be in different seasons, but we're all just little sheep being led by a great Shepherd. So let's walk this journey together, shall we?

October Musings...

It's October already! Wow! Is anyone else amazed at how quickly September flew by?

Well, it's been awhile since I posted anything on this blog. It's been a very busy last couple of weeks! Forgive me for my absence....

 "The preoccupations of young women…do not change very much from generation to generation. But in every generation there seem to be a few who make other choices."

– Elisabeth Elliot –

I've read this quote before, but lately I've been thinking a lot about this. I'm turning 18 tomorrow and there's something about birthdays that cause me to reflect.

I want to be one of those few....those few who choose to reject the typical pattern of a young woman and live a life of radical abandonment to Christ. I don't want to be obsessed by the newest movies, caught up in the latest fashion trends, or absorbed in seeking the attention of young men. I don't want to waste my life in comfortable apathy. 

I want Christ. I want to be full of Him, used by Him, and in love with Him. Oh, how I want to be one of those few in this generation that would pursue Christ, no matter what anyone might say or do. 

I desire these things so much...and yet I see how far I am from them. 

I still see the reeking selfishness in my heart, the bitter pride that bites and attacks those closest to me. I am grieved to observe my disobedient heart, my judgmental mind, and my piercing tongue. 

I know. He is sanctifying me. He is continuing to grow me up and chisel off the ugliness. But sometimes, doesn't it feel like it's taking forever? Or that it's not even happening at all? 

Oh God, help my unbelief!

I'm reminded of 2 Corinthians 12:9.

“'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me."

How good it is to know that my sanctification rests in His hands! His grace is sufficient and I can trust that He will continue to do what He has promised to complete. 

But oh, that doesn't mean that I will ever stop praying and pleading with my Father! He is the only One who can make me one of those "few;" I must continue to ask Him, as He has commanded, to seek His ever-straying servant. It is only through His extended grace that I will ever seek, love, and serve Him more. 

May the Lord make this following verse the prayer of our hearts....

"Turn away my eyes from looking at vanity, and revive me in Your ways." Psalm 119:37

Pictures from Recent Adventures

Hello Everyone! Makenna invited me (Ariana, her sister) to post my pictures from our family's recent adventures! So, here they are.

                                           We recently visited the Woodland Park Zoo!

 Our family at Megarama Day! It's a huge farm where families who have Down Syndrome children can come and ride horses, go to the beach, and meet one another! It was a lot of fun.

                                                        Enjoying a few moments at the beach!

Conner Dressing up at Megarama Day!

                                                         Makenna- a cowgirl at heart! =)                                       
                

  Camera Man

Enjoying her coffee

                                                                 Our family Kayaking

Hope you enjoyed the pictures! Have a glorious day! =)
~Ari

Sneak Peek~ Recent Adventures

I know it's been several weeks (or has it been months?) since I've posted family pictures up on my blog. And because I've had several requests to post more pictures, I believe it's about time.

I was hoping to post those pictures today, but since I didn't have time, here's a sneak peek of the blogpost that will be coming in the next couple days.

I hope you're all enjoying this beautiful Monday, rejoicing in the goodness of our great God!

Megarama Day on Whidbey Island

Kayaking in Bellingham

Our Precious Gifts~ Pictures of the Kiddos

Over the past couple weeks, Ariana has taken the kiddos out on several occasions to capture some pictures of the two of them. They turned out really cute! I hope you enjoy them....

 Oh, he sure loves bubbles!!! :)

 That smile just melts my heart!

 Even though Charity's one year older than Conner, they're the same height and it seems that he is more intelligent in his basic comprehension. And yet, she can talk, whereas he can't yet. As they grow up together, it'll be interesting to see who takes on the "older sibling" role.

Conner's already really protective of Charity and will help, comfort, and even scold her at times, when he knows that she's doing something that she shouldn't. But, she does the same thing to him as well. This morning, Ari was playing with Conner and Charity in their room. They were both looking at books, when Ari called them over to her, to play a game. Charity obeyed, but Conner didn't. Charity knew right away that he was being disobedient. So, she took on a deeper voice and said in a grown-up way, "Conner Matthew, come here!" He listened. :)

"Behold, how good and how pleasant it is

For brothers (or brothers and sisters) to dwell together in unity!"

Psalm 133:1

 :)

 ♥

Our little lady.

Our little man.

Bringing Conner Home...Pictures!

Hello everyone! I'm sorry for not getting this post up sooner! It's been a busy 2 1/2 weeks since we brought Conner home! Wow, has it really only been 2 1/2 weeks? It feels like he's been a part of our family for months! The Lord has blessed us beyond measure with this precious boy and is answering much prayer by providing us with a smooth transition. Also, Conner and Charity have such a darling relationship. They are SO cute together! :)

All of these pictures were graciously taken by my amazing friend, Keilah Engstrom of Vanilla Bean Photography. If you click on the link, you'll be directed to her site, where you can peruse through her incredible pictures! :) 

In a few days, I'm hoping to post some pictures of the past couple weeks that he's been home. Ari has taken some super cute pictures, so I'm excited to share them with you all! Hope you're having a wonderful week!)

For those of you who've been waiting expectantly...here are the pictures from the airport.  Enjoy!

  Waiting at the airport for the crew to arrive. :)

 Meeting him for the first time was incredible. It all seemed so dreamy. Poor Conner was SO tired that day. A new time zone, long plane flight, and adjustment to everything really wore him out.

 Charity was so excited to see Conner. The orphanage that he came from sent us a video of him, so that we could "see" him before we met him in person. Charity loved that video and everyday, she would ask, "See Conner video?" When she was actually able to hug him, her face lit up like a light bulb! It was so good to see!

 He definitely gives the most amazing hugs. :)

 Conner was really interested in Keilah's camera. She was very gracious and helped him take a picture. The above picture is the one he took. Pretty cute, huh?!

 What started as a family of 4, 2 1/2 years ago, the Lord has expanded to a family of 6. We are so blessed!

 Sigh..I love this picture so much! :)

 Doesn't he have such a cute smile?