Expectant Joy

Happy New Year, friends! Anyone else out there still finding themselves writing 2015? It's okay. We'll get it...eventually. Maybe by 2017? ;)


A new year - a fresh canvas with endless possibilities.

Last year's canvas is a bit painful to look at. Yes, there are colorful splashes of exciting adventures, new seasons, and great blessings, but there's also more brush strokes of brokenness, confusion, and disappointment than I've seen in previous years.

At the beginning of 2015, I believed the Lord was leading me to focus on the word "trust" for the upcoming year. It makes me smile to think of it. He brought that up in far more ways than I could ever have imagined - or would have wanted to.

In the past few weeks, as I'd been pondering a new year and what it might hold, there was a sense of apprehension and fear. The Lord had allowed much of my beliefs to be upended in 2015. I thought He was working in a specific way, only to find out He was doing the opposite. A saying that a dear friend framed and gave to me as a gift, sums up what He was teaching me: "And if not, He is still good."

And He is good, friends. So good. Looking back at that dark time, I'm amazed at the patience and love He showed me, as I struggled through doubts and confusion and anger at His will.

He's brought me through, but it wasn't until I began to think about 2016 that I realized there were still some lies rooted in the deep, dark corners of my heart. Where was this fear and apprehension coming from? Why was I seemingly preparing myself for another year of pain and unanswered prayers? Why was I so negative about the future?

Even though I still believed that God is good and He causes all things to work together for my good and His glory, there was a little lie that said, "God might give good gifts to the rest of His children, but not to you. His good for you is pain and suffering." So as a result, I was expecting the worst.

Friends, that's a miserable way to live! It is definitely NOT walking in the hope and life of Christ! And what is hope but the confident expectation and assurance of God? Yes, sometimes His good comes in the form of a "no". It's what I've been calling His devastating grace.

But hope is based, not in what I am or am not getting from God, but in who He is and the unchanging nature of His character. And because of that, I can expect good from God in chaos, I can be confident that He's still working good in the shattered pieces.

Because His name is Faithful and True.

Because He is NOT cruel to His children. Ever.

Because He is a dearer Daddy than my mind can comprehend.

My word/phrase for this year is expectant joy. Purposeful, hope-filled, moment-by-moment joy and delight in Who He is and all that He's doing. Not seeking to rush ahead to when ____ happens, but living in grateful contentment right here, right now. Rejoicing because in His presence is fullness of joy, not a situation or a person or a specific season.

One definition of expectant is watchful, with bated breath. That's how I want to approach 2016. I have so much to learn in this area, so far to grow, but I pray that He would make me like the psalmist who said, "Come and hear, all who fear God, and I will tell of what He has done for my soul." (Psalm 66:16) That as I go through this year, with all its uncertainties and questions, I would watch for the testimonies of grace and excitedly declare, "Look! There He is again! Look at what He's done! Isn't He good?"

In the pain. In the triumph. When He gives and when He takes away. Through the desert and through the mountains. When I can see the next mile ahead of me and when I can barely make out the next step.

I'm excited for 2016, friends, incredibly excited! I know the One who's promised to lead me by the hand every step of the way. Let's watch for His goodness together!

So, what about you? What has the Lord been laying on your heart for 2016? I would love to hear about it!

Worth Waiting For

I absolutely love fall.

There's something about that "smell" in the air that is simply delightful!

Every time October rolls around and the leaves begin changing colors, everything becomes pumpkin-flavored, and the scarves come out of the closet, my heart leaps for joy at the new season!

This year was no different. But for some reason, there was something else that changed this fall. Something else was in the air, besides that fall aroma. At least for everyone around me, it seemed like "love" was in the air.

Out of nowhere, many of my friends have started courting/dating, are in a serious relationship, or are engaged. Facebook has never been so full of relationship statuses. And for the first time, people younger than me are getting married. What happened?

Maybe it's just that I'm finally beginning to reach that "marriageable" age. Or maybe it's just that most of my friends have reached it. :) Either way, there's a great tendency to look around and become dissatisfied.

Why am I the only single person here? Sometimes, it just seems hard to wait. For those of you who are older than me and are still single, I understand that you probably think me naive...or hopelessly romantic. But truly. When I look around at many of my friends and see them with their "special someones", there's a yearning for someone to love, cherish, and grow old with.

I have been praying about this lately; praying that the Lord would allow me to rejoice with those who have been gifted with a relationship/fiance/spouse, but to remain satisfied and overjoyed in my Love. And oh friends, how He satisfies! I know I have said this before, but truly there is no one like Him!

The other day, the Lord put several questions to my soul. I had been pondering the joys and blessings of marriage in the lives of my parents and other godly men and women and how wonderful it would be to experience that unity.

But then, the Lord challenged my heart, "What is the purpose of marriage, dear one?"

"To bring You glory, by showing the world a picture of the selfless love and union between Christ and His Bride."

"So then," came another question, "are you willing to joyfully wait until I will be more glorified in your marriage than in your singleness?"

Joyfully wait. That's the hard part sometimes. It's easy to say the right thing. To answer the "relationship status question" with the fact that you're waiting on the Lord to bring along your spouse in His perfect timing. But am I living like I believe this? Or would I dare to argue that right now is His perfect timing, that He would certainly be more glorified if He just brought along my "someone" today.

I know we probably wouldn't admit to this form of thinking, but that's how we often act....or at least how I know I've acted in the past. Do I believe my God is able to bring my spouse and I together at the right time? Then, why would I give into temptation by worrying over it? More importantly, why would I give in to unbelief by living discontentedly? Yes, His timing will probably look different than mine. He could see fit to bring my husband and I together in 6 months or in 10 years. But am I willing to wait, joyfully and contentedly wait...so that He might be glorified?

Because truly, marriage is not the "end-all". He alone is worth living and dying for. So, whether or not He brings along a spouse is not the great concern. It is His glory and His name that is to be sought after and lifted high. Not marriage. Not a relationship. But Him. That's why I must be willing to let go of any dream or desire that is not in alignment with His will. Today, it is not His will for me to be in a relationship. Praise Jesus! I am blessed with Him and Him alone today! He satisfies more than any love story could. In Psalm 16:11 King David said, "You will make known to me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; in Your right hand there are pleasures forever."

One more thought. Am I willing to pray that He will not bring my spouse and I together until our relationship will cause us to seek and love Him more? That's a daring prayer. I have seen so many relationships, even "Christian" relationships, in which the young man and woman become so captivated by each other that they lose their zeal and passion for Jesus Christ. But I have seen a few, a select few, where their relationship causes them to fall in love with Jesus even more than they did before. And not only that, but their God-written love story causes others to seek, love, and adore Him more because of it.

That's what I desire in a relationship. And that's worth waiting for.

When Plans Fail

"The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps."

Proverbs 16:9

When I came back from Ellerslie in April, I longed to go back for the Advanced Ellerslie Training course. It was about 10 months long, which seemed like a perfect time. Still pretty long but not too long. The course sounded absolutely wonderful and I believed the Lord was leading me to pursue it for the Spring of 2014.

So, I began working as a part-time nanny and raising money for Advanced. I had my plans (which I truly thought were from the Lord), but all of that has suddenly changed.

I just found out recently that Ellerslie is changing their Advanced program. Because of all the changes (they're wonderful changes, just different than what my plans were), I don't know if the Lord is calling me to go back to Ellerslie. I don't know where the Lord has me next year (He certainly could lead me to Ellerslie), but essentially, I'm back to square one: the unknown.

If you know my family's story (the Lord's leading in all of our moves), then you know how often we were faced with the unknown of where to live, what the future held, etc. And because the Lord had led us through those situations so often, there was a part of me that believed I had the whole "trusting in the Lord" lesson learned. Oh, how prideful! How foolish!

And praise Jesus, He has taken the blinders off my eyes! By removing all my former plans for next year, I was faced with the unknown again. With all my neat, little ideas gone, would I gladly trust and follow Him? What if He chose not to show me what next year holds...until next year?

These are questions the Lord has been bringing to the surface over the past couple days. And He has been so faithful to lead me back to Himself! Yes, is it easier to have the next year figured out, but there is such joy and beauty in learning to let go of "my desires and plans". For in the unknown, I am pushed to learn a greater dependence on Him. Praise the Lord for the precious, little ways that He continues to break us of ourself and turn our eyes to Him! 

I also love the timing of all of this. The Lord so perfectly chose to remove all of my plans, right before my family's vacation back to Michigan. Even though I hadn't blatantly said this, I was excited by the idea of knowing exactly what to say when all of my old friends and family ask me what my plans are. How self-reliant I still am! Jesus, save me from myself! I wanted to have a pretty "normal" answer to give to everyone, not the "I don't know, I'm just waiting on the Lord" answer that I've always had. But, why? Why would I want to remove the ability to proclaim my absolute need of and dependence on Him? To make myself look better? The Lord knows I need to be broken of that mindset as well! How gracious He is!

So friends, if any of you are wondering, I have absolutely no clue what I'm doing in the next year. And I am so excited about that! Today, I am looking to Jesus. In His perfect time, He will show me the next step. What a sweet Savior we have!

Up and Away...Almost

“We are here on this earth to know God intimately, fully, correctly, and contagiously; to house His holy person in our very bodies, allowing Him to showcase to the world around us His loving nature, His attitude, His thoughts, His emotions, and His actions through the way we live every moment of our lives.” 

~Eric Ludy

Two days, my friends...two days 'til I head off for Colorado!!!

Oh, there are so many emotions whirling around in me right now. In the months since I've known I was going to Ellerslie, I haven't been nervous at all until the past couple days. How do you pack for nine weeks away from home?! Well, I've been tackling this over the past week and finished today. It feels so good to be done. And yet, I feel like I'm forgetting something! Ah! I guess I'll figure it out when I get there. :) 

Because I've never been gone from home for so long, a part of me feels like I'm going away forever. During the past month or so, I've been trying to make special memories with each member of my family. It's been so good and my family and friends have blessed me in so many ways! It's going to (and has already been) SO hard to say goodbye to each of my precious friends and family members! 

Here are some pictures...

Dear, dear friends...no, honorary sisters! I'm going to miss them more than I can say!

Last weekend, Ari and I took my mom for a girls' night out. We went antique shopping and then watched a theater production in Sumner. So much fun! ♥

Love these kiddos! 

  

Ari and I always loved ice-skating, growing up. We hadn't been in years though, so it was so much fun to experience that again! Wonderful sister date!

Me and my little man! ♥

Another theater production (this time it was The Music Man) that I took Ari to. The actors and actresses were wonderful!

Yes, this was while I was packing. I think he wants to go too... ;-)


Well, my friends, I don't know when I'll be able to post again. In light of this, I want to leave you all with a song that's been an incredible blessing in my life recently. You know when you find a song that just seems to capture everything you want to say, but don't know how to say it? Maybe that description didn't make sense, but this song is my heart's cry bottled up into 5 1/2 minutes. It's so beautiful!

Praying that the Lord would do this work in my heart while at Ellerslie and continue it when I come home...



Only You, only You
All I need, let nothing stand
In between, make me Yours
Consuming fire

Only You, only You
All I need, let nothing stand
In between, make me Yours
Consuming fire

Burn away
Everything that breaks Your heart
Everything that is not love
Purify my every thought
Take away
Everything that comes between us
Everything that is untrue
Jesus make me more like You
Burn away

You are love, You are love
Blazing light, holy flame
Fierce and wild, have Your way
Consuming fire

Yes You are love, You are love
Blazing light, holy flame
Fierce and wild, have Your way
Consuming fire

Burn away
Everything that breaks Your heart
Everything that is not love
Purify my every thought
Take away
Everything that comes between us
Everything that is untrue
Jesus make me more like You

Make me holy, as You are holy
Refine me in your fire, oh God
Make me holy, as You are holy
In my life be glorified

Goodbye, dear friends! May the Lord be with you!

When You Want to Die for Christ, But He Won't Let You

 My mom shared the following blogpost with me tonight, which was written by C Michael Patton at Credo House Ministries. I thought it was so beautiful that I had to share it with you all. Enjoy and may it drive you to Christ!

When You Want to Die for Christ, But He Won't Let You ~

You know what it feels like: you are on fire; you are ready, willing and able; you don’t need any more sermons on Rom 12:1. You are a living sacrifice. You have read Radical. You have read Crazy Love. You are ready to die. You are ready to die for Christ, the Gospel and whatever other mission God puts you on.

Wherever, whatever, however God, I am ready to sacrifice it all.

Problem: there is no altar. Well, not like you thought. If it exists, it does not exist in the glory of your perceptions. You pray continually for God to show you his direction. There has to be a place for me in His army.

Here’s what you do:

You decide to become a missionary. You talk to your wife and your family about quitting your job and becoming a full time missionary in Africa. Why Africa? Just because. You wife thinks you are nuts and your children don’t understand. All attempts to infect her with the desire to die have the opposite effect. But you are not about to question your calling. In your spiritual high, you place some distance between you and your family, believing that it is the Lord’s will. Discouragement has yet to set in.

Or maybe . . .

You decide to start a church. Your passions will be realized as you minister in your local community, transforming all those around you with the preaching—expository preaching—of the word of God. You are sick of the churches that would not know the Gospel if it hit them in the knee cap. You are going to be the lighthouse on a hill. You don’t really know what to do so you get on Microsoft Word and make a flier. You put a nice Bible graphic that you found from Google image search on the flier, along with the announcement of the new Bible study that is going to be held at your friend’s coffee shop.

The day comes. Hundreds of fliers have been handed out. Two people show. One is your wife. The other is a nice young girl who just broke up with her boyfriend and had nothing else to do that night. It’s past time for the Bible study to start and you look outside in hopes that someone else will show. Someone pulls up and leaves upon the realization that they might be the only ones there. You attempt to teach the Bible study, but the disappointment of teaching two people when you hoped for 30 to 40 takes the wind out of your sails. All you want to do is go home and cry.

Or maybe . . .

You decide to go to seminary, but don’t get accepted.

Or maybe . . .

You start with a small missions endeavor, but you don’t get the funds.

Or maybe . . .

You go to your pastor and tell him you will serve wherever, but, not only is he not as excited about your prospective involvement as you thought he would be, there is nothing for you to do. He says he will call you if something comes up. Nothing ever comes up.

Or maybe . . .

You start with a bang, but then it fizzles and no one is as anxious and excited as you are. You feel let down and discouraged.

What do you do when you try . . . I mean really try to die for Christ, but he won’t let you. What do you do when you are on the altar and you don’t die, but your are getting really sunburned?

This is to those of you who feel called to do something big for the Lord, but it never happens.

Don’t give up your zeal.  The first two illustrations given above are round about reenactments of my life. Someone has once said that the Christian life is a life of starting over—every morning! Don’t let let-downs discourage you. You may be let down, but God has not set you down. Remember, he is not setting you on a 100 meter dash, but on a long distance run—a long distance run. I love new Christians who are set on giving their lives up for the Lord. But I am so saddened when I see those who had such a zeal reenter their old life with great discouragement, wondering why the Lord did not use them. God will use you. God is using you. But he does not carve out flashes in the pan. He creates endurance. I know . . . He does not move as quickly as we like. Keep the zeal and passion, but let the Lord set the pace. This is the hardest thing to do.


Ministry is not the de facto solution to satisfy your intense craving to die for the Lord. Remember, you are a living sacrifice. A living sacrifice. Don’t be surprised if you live! Don’t be surprised if you live a life that is rather ordinary, not making a significant impact every direction you turn. Don’t impose such a goal upon the Lord. Remember Abraham? What the heck was so great about his life? I don’t know that he ever held a great evangelistic crusade. He never traveled all over the world with nothing but his Bible. He never wrote any books. He did not pastor a church. He did not even start a blog. From what I read about him, if it weren’t for the Bible and God’s testimony about him, he would have never made much of a footprint in the world. Or, better, we would not have recognized the footprint he did make. Why then is he so great? Because he was a friend of God. He trusted him. Everyday, he believed God. He endured quietly.
Sometimes being a living sacrifice is just quietly trusting the Lord.

Be quiet and tranquil. The Lord will show your path in your tranquility. Paul tells the Thessalonians to “make it your ambition to lead a quiet life and attend to your own business and work with your hands” (1Th 4:11). Ouch. But impacts are never “quiet.” I want to make an impact. I want to stir things up. I want to drop a bomb on the world leaving behind the sign of the Trinity! The problem is that your bomb could be the very opposite of God’s plan. Your bomb could be you getting off the altar. God will direct you.
I have just watched a very dear friend who had so much zeal for the Lord, so much passion to follow him, so much desire to die that he now sits, divorced, estranged from his wife and family, with his head in his hands wondering why the Lord gave him a spiritual cement job. In his zeal, he outran the Lord and left his wife because he could not wait for her to catch up.

Your passions may open the doors you expect and they may not. But you are to sit on the altar, no matter where you are or how God leads, and be a living sacrifice. Chuck Swindoll once said that the problem with living sacrifices is that they keep crawling off the altar. Get back on the altar.

What do you do when you cannot die for Christ? Live for him.

Even through the Tears...

Hello friends!
For the past several months, I've been following a wonderful blog called Proverbs 31 Wannabe. I've always been greatly encouraged by Tessa's posts; her love for the Lord is very evident. Recently, she asked me to write a guest post. So, I just thought I would let you know that a new post is up...it's just over at another blog. :)

Below is a snippet from the post that's over on Tessa's blog. And don't just go over to her blog to read the rest of my post. Sign up and follow her blog as well! I know you'll be encouraged!

I saw it out of the corner of my eye. The glass haphazardly rocked back and forth, warning me of its impending fall. I lurched across the kitchen, grasping the container only seconds before its oily contents would have spilled all over the new rug. “Thank you Lord,” I breathed, “thank you Lord!” My mind immediately jumped to the “what if” scenario, imagining the hours I would have had to spend cleaning the kitchen, if it had been smeared with splattered oil. I breathed a sigh of relief and again thanked the Lord for saving me from such a “horrible” situation. 

Would you have thanked Me if the oil had spilled?

Continue reading at Proverbs 31 Wannabe....

The Lord Reigns

 

Today, while reading through different Psalms in prayer, I came across a favorite of mine: Psalm 93. It starts out like this:

"The Lord reigns, He is clothed with majesty; the Lord has clothed and girded Himself with strength; indeed, the world is firmly established, it will not be moved."

That's verse 1. There's quite a bit of truth packed into that one verse, isn't there? This afternoon, as I started reading it, the first three words jumped out to me.

The Lord reigns.

Yes. I understand that most of you reading this already know that God Almighty reigns. So then, why is this important?

As I re-read that little phrase this afternoon, a question flashed across my mind.

What significance does this phrase have on my life?

I picked up a pen and my notebook and began jotting down some notes. (I find that my thoughts come much better when I'm writing them down.) I found that this simple phrase holds much more weight than I first imagined. The following are my notes from this afternoon's study.

According to Noah Webster's 1828 Dictionary, the word "reign" means:

• to possess or excercise sovereign power or authority
• to rule
• to hold the supreme power

The Lord reigns. He holds supreme power and authority over everyone and everything.

But how does this affect us? There are two categories....

Because the Lord reigns, we don't need to and shouldn't:

• fear or worry about anything. If He is in control, what do we have to be fearful of?
• complain or grumble in any situation. What does complaining do? It shows dislike of our circumstances. But who caused or allowed those circumstances? Yes, the Lord...the One who reigns over all.
• doubt the Lord. When we doubt His power or love for us, we are undermining who He is.
• be angry with anyone or anything. Yes, I understand there is such thing as holy anger, but that's not what I'm referring to. Again, our anger shows our dislike of a person or situation. But doesn't the Lord rule over your life? Doesn't He work all things to the good of those who love Him?
• follow anyone else. As King of Kings, the Lord deserves our complete allegiance. Would the president be pleased if he found out you were a traitor to your country? No, of course not. That's an incredibly serious crime. And yet, we continue to show disloyalty to our Lord and King by disobeying Him and following our fleshly desires. We need to see our King for who He is and our sin for what it is.

Because the Lord reigns, we need to and should:

• serve Him with complete devotion. As was already addressed above, this should be our natural and immediate reaction to Him.
• love and adore Him as the just and merciful King that He is. What other King is like our Lord? Has any other king died for you, purchased you from the enemy with his life's blood, and has now adopted you (a former traitor to his kingdom) into the royal family as his son/daughter? What God is like our God? Love and adoration should pour from our lives, when we realize how much He has given and what we deserve. 
• obey His commands with joy. If you loved your gracious King because He had saved you from death, wouldn't your natural response be to obey His commands...and not only to obey them, but to do them wholeheartedly?
• rejoice in all circumstances. Again, if all situations come from His hand and are a part of His great plan, why would we do anything but rejoice? 
• stand victoriously against the powers of hell. Our King not only reigns over everything, but has proved Himself victorious over the powers of hell. If we are "in Him" as Scripture says, then we can stand against any temptation or attack in His strength, knowing that our Lord already defeated the enemy 2,000 years ago.
• place all of our trust in Him. There is no one like our great King. Why would we want to trust in anyone else?
• worship and praise Him for who He is. He deserves our every word, every thought, and every action. Let us praise Him and give Him the glory that He alone is worthy of.
• rely on Him for our every need. Our King will supply our every need, but we must ask Him according to His will. And when we do, He will be faithful to provide.

The Lord reigns.

3 words with a weighty calling. Doesn't it leave you a bit speechless?

The following quote is an eloquent reminder of what the response of our hearts should be. May it be yours today, dear reader.
 
 “Come, Lord, and abide with me. Come, and occupy alone the throne of my heart; reign there without a rival, and consecrate me entirely to thy service.” ~ Charles Spurgeon

Falling in Love...

Tis' true. I am falling in love...

No my friends, it is not an earthly love that I speak of, but a Heavenly one.

My Love is Jesus Christ and He is altogether beautiful, altogether sufficient for me! His grace carries me through days of weariness, confusion, and sorrow. His love is more faithful than the morning!

Oh, it has been a confusing, difficult past couple weeks, but my Beloved is leading me once again to His arms, holding me ever so close to His heart.

Tonight, I am overwhelmed by His love for me...and I just had to let it out by writing. :)

Isn't He incredible, my friend? Doesn't His endless grace amaze your soul? Again I am reminded (why do I ever forget?) that my Beloved is outstanding among ten thousand, my All in All, the greatest Treasure in all the world! Oh, to love Him more, to follow Him wherever He might lead! How could obedience be a sacrifice when His love for us is so great?!

Yes, I am rambling....but oh, I don't care. He is altogether lovely and my soul is overtaken with its Husband. Thank you for bearing with my randomness.  :)

I stumbled across this song tonight and had to share it with you. It is such a simple song, yet beautifully puts to words the swelling joy of my heart. As you watch this video, look at the beauty of the creation that your Beloved has made! Look at what He has created for you to enjoy! Gaze at the cross of Christ and be overwhelmed by His great love for you; look at His nail-scarred hands outstretched to you, desiring you.

Reflect on your Beloved tonight, my friend....and fall in love with Him!

Joyful Obedience

 

Ah, yes...joyful obedience. That is the title of this post, but it is this very attitude that I've been struggling to give the Lord recently.

Can anyone out there relate?

Oh, it's a struggle, such a struggle! So many times, I know the Lord is calling me to do something. But, what do I do? I sit there, grumbling and arguing with my conscience, trying to think of some excuse that would be reasonable enough to disobey my Lord. (Is disobedience ever reasonable or excusable?)

Now, it's not that I never want to obey the Lord. The cry and passion of my heart is to obey Him. And yet, I still see so many little areas in my life where I exemplify grumbling or foot-dragging obedience. I remind myself of a toddler so often; arguing and fighting when my Father asks something of me, instead of immediately obeying with a joyful attitude.

But then, I am reminded of verses like Philippians 2:5-11...

"Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross."

Christ, our Ultimate Example. The Lord Himself was obedient to His Father and joyfully submitted Himself to His will. Did Christ complain when the soldiers mercilessly flogged Him to a pulp? Was He seeking a way of escape when they threw His open body upon a cross, nailed His wrists to the planks of wood, and He bore the wrath of Almighty God? How many times did Jesus argue with His Heavenly Father before He gave into submission? Not once.

What was our Lord's prayer in the garden? "Not my will, but Yours be done."

Open hands. A willing heart. Surrender to the will of God.

I need these attitudes, long for them, am praying for them. But oh, it is so hard. That struggle with the flesh is so continual, so tiring at times. It is during these times of struggling that I need to remember to rest, in Him and in His Word.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." (Hebrews 12:1-3)

Praise the Lord that He has gone ahead of us and has paid our way, won the ultimate victory, and given us an example to follow. "Consider Him....so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

Let us consider Him, my friends, as we run this race together. We do not run it alone, for the Lord is the One who gives us the strength to press on. May we rest in Him, knowing that He is faithful and is continually sanctifying us ever more into His precious image. Oh, I pray that we would have open hands and a joyful heart, ready to serve and obey our great God in whatever He might be calling us to.

And may He give us the grace to say, "Behold, the bondslave of the Lord; may it be done to me according to your word." (Luke 1:38)

Out of the Depths~Sovereign Grace Music

A couple weeks ago, a friend of mine passed along a song that had meant a lot to her. The song is based off of Psalm 130 and the lyrics are beautiful! It's been a great encouragement and blessing, so I thought I would share it with you all. What blessed hope we have in Christ!

Out of the Depths ~ Sovereign Grace Music

Out of the depths, O Lord, I cry to You
When I am tempted to despair
Though I might fail to trust Your promises
You never fail to hear my prayer
And if You judged my sin
I’d never stand again
But I see mercy in Your hands

So more than watchmen for the morning
I will wait for You, my God
When my fears come with no warning
In Your Word I’ll put my trust
When the harvest time is over and I still see no fruit
I will wait, I will wait for You

The secret mysteries belong to You
We only know what You reveal
And all my questions that are unresolved
Don’t change the wisdom of Your will
In every trial and loss
My hope is in the cross
Where Your compassions never fail

© 2008 Sovereign Grace Praise (BMI)

Foxes in the Vineyard - Money

Martin Luther once said, "There are three conversions necessary: the conversion of the heart, mind, and the purse."

Does Martin Luther speak accurately or is he being too extreme? Does money have such an unflinching stronghold on our lives?

If you had asked me this 6 months ago, I would have said, "No, absolutely not. I rarely spend money on myself and I love to give."

But, did I?

To answer that, I have to go a bit farther back in my history. Ever since I can remember, I've looked forward to the day I could drive. It seems to be just a part of the American Dream to get your license at 16. Because of that mindset, I was always counting down the years until my 16th birthday would roll around.

Well, my 16th birthday finally came.....and went...with no license. In fact, I was shocked to discover that the idea of getting my license didn't even seem to be in my near future, according to my parents. Insurance was too expensive. "And besides," they added, "why do you need your license right now?"

Why?! Oh, the injustice of it all! :)

During my 16th year, I started to get desperate. Looking around, I realized that most of my firstborn friends already had their license and some were even younger than me. Suddenly, my entire focus became a mad hunt to discover a stay-at-home job. Getting my license took first priority in my life. But of course, I would never admit to that. I would mope through the house, brainstorming any and every idea I could think of to make money quickly. My mom would often ask if I had committed this desire to the Lord. Of course I had! I had asked (maybe demanded is a better word) for the Lord to show me a job so that I could get my license. Surely He would answer that prayer, right?!

Wrong. Time continued to ebb away, and then I was 17....still with no license. Now, all of my firstborn friends had their license and I was the loner still-have-my-permit girl. I had some savings built up, but not enough for insurance. Around the beginning of last December, I knew that the Lord was asking me to give some money to Gospel for Asia. My fists clenched in protest. "Lord, how could You ask something like that of me?! I'm saving up for my license, remember? If I give money away, I'll have to work all the harder to get it back again."

But the Lord continued to press this upon my heart. Finally, on December 10, the Lord opened my eyes to my complete selfishness and disobedience. My journal entry with that date shares my thoughts:

"O my Father, I am convicted! I have spent (no, wasted) so much time coveting, so much energy worrying, and so much emotion complaining that I don't have a driver's license. Forgive me, Lord Jesus. I have been so preoccupied with calculating how much I need to earn and looking at how all my friends have one...I have been so selfish, Lord. I don't want this to have a hold on my life anymore or to continue keeping me from You. So Lord....You will have to make it clear when you want me to get my license. And if I never get one for the rest of my life, help me to be content with that. In Your strength, this means no more complaining, coveting, self-pity parties, anxiety, or hard-fistedness towards money. All I have is Yours!"

It was then and there that I truly gave my money to Him, knowing that it did not come from my hand anyway, but from the Lord's. Why did I ever think it was mine to begin with?

This year, the Lord has burdened my heart to only spend a certain amount of money every month on necessities or an occasional treat. But, it must first be "okayed" by the Lord. I do not have the freedom to spend any money, even $1, on something that I do not first approach the Lord with. The Lord has been slowly and graciously burdening my heart with the fact that 2 billion people have never heard the name of my precious Jesus and are dying everyday without hope.

How could I spend even $6 on a new purse when that same money could provide two unreached people with the very Word of God? By His grace, my mindset is changing. But oh, that He might loosen my hold on money more and more everyday! I still have so much to learn!

Now, I am not saying that getting a job, possessing a driver's license, or buying a new purse is wrong. What I am saying is this: our money is not our own, so we should live in a way that declares our belief in this. Are we relying on the Lord for everything? Are we asking Him for guidance before spending the money He has given us, whether a little amount or large? Have we given all of our money to the Lord, allowing Him to use it as He chooses? He has blessed us with the money we have. What are we doing with it to impact eternity?

This is still a daily struggle. There are many times that I still want my license, many days I wish I had a larger savings account. And yet, there is such peace trusting in Him; trusting that He will provide for my every need, at the perfect time.

"Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5

Isn't this beautiful?! What is our reason for not loving money or worrying about our needs? Because and only because our God is in control and He has promised to never leave us! What an extraordinary assurance we have!

"Givers can be divided into three types: the flint, the sponge and the honeycomb. Some givers are like a piece of flint - to get anything out of it you must hammer it, and even then you only get chips and sparks. Other are like a sponge - to get anything out of a sponge you must squeeze it and squeeze it hard, because the more you squeeze a sponge, the more you get. But others are like a honeycomb - which just overflows with its own sweetness. That is how God gives to us, and it is how we should give in turn."
Anonymous

Oh, may the Lord give us such a love for Him, such a desire to seek Him and His kingdom first, that we would be as the sweetest honeycomb, overflowing with the pure nectar given to us by our gracious King!