A Lesson Re-Learned

Dependent: unable to subsist or to perform any thing, without the aid of

Isn't this the perfect definition of a Christian?

I know. This word, dependence, is the absolute opposite of everything that our culture seeks to attain. Independence is the cry of the American dream.

And yet, as a follower of Jesus Christ, I know my own inadequacy. I'll shout from the rooftops that I am a miserable wretch without the grace of God. I see in my own life how selfish and utterly sinful I am without Him.

So, why do I need to keep learning this lesson, this lesson of dependence?

Why do I so quickly forget what it means to be dependent on Him, to know that I can do absolutely nothing good on my own? (John 15)

Over the past couple weeks, my main prayer has been, "Lord, make me like Jesus!" 

Over the past couple days, He's begun answering my prayer in a way I hadn't expected.

He's been showing me my sin. A neglect in abiding. A lack of love-induced obedience. My failure to completely depend upon Him. 

I've been so caught up in the busyness of life lately, that I've failed to give Him the first priority. Instead of allowing Him to wake me up in the middle of the night to pray or early in the morning to spend time with Him, I determined the amount of sleep I needed. Instead of giving Him the best hours of the day, I decided what I wanted to do.

And I wondered why I had been struggling to sense His presence? To be obedient? To know the Spirit's leading?

Oh friends, I have to keep learning this lesson...over and over again!
I AM NOTHING! HE IS EVERYTHING! 

When will I learn? When will this finally sink into my thick skull? 

Oh, He is worthy; He deserves so much more than my half-hearted love and obedience! And praise Him, praise Him, praise Him that He is so patient with His children! Through it all: every failure to abide, every negligence to depend, every time self reigns, He is faithful and His love has never changed! He is making me more like Himself by revealing my inability. He shows me out of love, so that I am led to depend upon Him afresh.

What more do I need to invoke me to worship, to joyful obedience? I have a Beloved like no other! No other Lover would bear with my weaknesses, love me through every failure, and graciously draw me back to His forgiving arms again.  And to think, He took my countless transgressions and gave me His spotless perfection! The God of the Universe sees me as righteous! Oh, what love! What glorious grace has been shed upon me, the chief of sinners!

"Nothing in my hand I bring,

Simply to the cross I cling;

Naked, come to Thee for dress;

Helpless look to Thee for grace;

Foul, I to the fountain fly;

Wash me, Savior, or I die."

Rock of Ages, Augustus Toplady

Pistikos Nardos - A Poem

Oh Jesus Christ, my Savior

bring Your fire, bring Your rain.

Burn away the dross of self-life,

'til Your life alone remains.

I want nothing more, oh Jesus

than to have a single eye.

Looking always for Your smile;

Your desire, my delight.

But how oft I am distracted;

pulled away by worthless things.

I grieve and spit upon the face

that bled and died for me!

So captivate me Jesus!

Make me ever, only Yours!

I am nothing on my own, Lord

come and take Your rightful throne.

I surrender all to Thee, O Christ;

my life is not my own.

My eyes, my mouth, my hands, my feet

are now, oh Jesus, Yours!

Burden me, Beloved King

to feel Your anguished heart.

Cleave my hand to the spiritual sword

for the voiceless one in dark.

Ever, onward, upward

soldier, will you now repine?

Your loving Savior grants you

grace sufficient for the fight.

May the cross be e'er before me,

leaving all to follow Thee.

For the Lamb alone is worthy!

May the world see Him in me.

~MJ