10 Incredible Results of Easter

"The cross is the lightning rod of grace that short-circuits God's wrath to Christ. so that only the light of His love remains for believers." 

A.W. Tozer

Please tell me you didn't skip over that quote. It's one of those that needs to be read at least three times. Believe me. It gets better each time. The cross. The resurrection. Where would we be without this beautiful Gospel?

With Easter season come and gone, I've been pondering the effect that the gospel has on my life. You see, around Easter, it can all become a little too "cliche-ish". (I probably just made that word up, huh?)  We sing the Easter songs and watch the skits and shed tears about Jesus' suffering. But how long does that last? Does it actually pierce our hearts?

I've been taking notes of my own life and it scares me. I. forget. so. much. I fail to realize the lies that subtly replace His truth. I profess something so grand, but often don't live in the reality of it.

So, here it is. I've scratched down 10 truths that I need to remember. 10 incredible results of this precious gospel that I forget. Often. I'm hitting the print button on these right now, so that I can stick them in front of my face everyday and read them. Over and over, if it'll help. Anything to keep me remembering these truths.

     1) There is only love for me now.
          Yeah. Say that one several times. Breathe it in, because that is GOOD NEWS, people! I am a sinner deserving punishment. But because of the cross, I will only, ever, for all eternity know the love of God. No more anger. No more wrath. I could stop right there at #1 and that'd be enough to think on for the rest of the year. Goodness!

     2) Christ has authority over the bondage of sin, every weapon of hell, and the inescapable bonds of death. He is not weak or incapable. Am I living, praying, acting like it?
          If somebody looked at my life, would they say, "Yes. 100% yes, she believes this"? Or would it sound more like, "Well, she says she believes this, but the way she lives in fear over ______ or still is addicted to _________ or can't let go of ___________- it doesn't really match up"? Oh Lord, help me.

     3) Jesus didn't just free me from the penalty of my sin, but the power of it. 
          How often do I focus on this? I'm saved from death, I'm saved from hell, I'm saved from the punishment I deserve. Yes and amen. Those are amazing gifts. But the gospel doesn't stop there! The same power that rose Jesus from the dead is living in me to be victorious over sin today. We might hear that all the time, but seriously. Do we realize what we're saying? "For sin shall not be master over you, for you are not under law but under grace." (Romans 6:14)

     4) I am as accepted in Christ now, as much as I will be in heaven. 
          I struggle with this one, friends, I really do. I wish I could pound this one into my heart and never believe the lie that His sacrifice wasn't enough. There's NOTHING extra I could do to have Him love or accept me more. Nothing. His love is complete, full, and unconditional. Hallelujah.

          

     5) His grace is free, but the cost was not. How dare I live with a light regard of sin. It cost Him everything.
          Flippant. I really hate that word. Especially when it defines my attitude toward sin. When compromise is easy and comfort is more important than holiness. Dear God, remind me of the great cost.

     6)  The cross bids me come and die. Surrender. Not I, but Christ. I give up my rights to rule my own life.
          What does Paul tell us? "..He died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf." (2 Corinthians 5:15) The Christian life isn't about finding "my best me". We've been liberated, set free from our old ways - the "me" way of life. And the only true freedom now comes from laying our lives down and submitting, bending, surrendering our feisty wills to His. That's where true life is found.

     7) The curtain was torn in two; that means no more separation. I'm invited to go boldly into the Throne Room of God Almighty.
          I know this sounds uber obvious. But step back and look at this. Do you put up barriers in your prayer life? I know I can, without even realizing it. Those barriers named Failure or Feelings or Fear. I don't "deserve" His love right now. I don't "feel" like praying today. What if He just ignores me? What if He never answers my prayer? 

     8) I didn't save myself. Am I allowing pride to steal His glory? And my joy?
          This is a biggie. That scoundrel loves to swagger right in and remind me of all that I've done, of how much better I am than all the other Christians around me. And then, my nose tilts up just a bit. A bit too much. But then, what happens when I fail? It all relies on me, right, so where does my joy go? Out the same door that Shame creeps in. It's a destructive cycle. But what sweet peace comes when we rest in His finished work and His promise of further sanctification.

     9) Christ is risen! That means He's alive. Why do I pray like I'm talking to a deceased relative?
          Do you find yourself in this same rut at times? My prayers can start sounding like I'm sitting at the grave site of a loved one. I wish You were. I wish You could help me with this problem in my life. I just want to know what You'd do in this situation. And then, I sigh and go back to my life, my problems, and my solutions (which usually stink). Friends, Jesus is alive! He's not powerless. He's not distant. It might feel like it, but what does He say in His Word? He's alive in me, He's promised to lead and guide me through ALL of life, and He won't ever leave or forsake me.

     10) When I question His love, look to the cross. There's no greater display of His affection. 
          Painful circumstances. Unmet promises. Crushed dreams. I could shake my fist at God and demand answers, question His love. But when I look back at the cross and see how God didn't spare His own Son for me - how could I question that? I might not understand what He's doing, but because of the cross, I can know that He'll paint every situation into a picture of His redeeming love.

So, which of the ten stood out to you the most? What do you find all too easy to forget in your life? I would love to hear...

The Day God was Silent

It's Saturday. The Saturday between Good Friday and Easter.

The day we kinda just want to skip over. The day when Jesus was dead. In the grave. Gone. I mean, what is there to celebrate today?

Yeah, I know. This whole weekend is a celebration of the Resurrection. But put yourself in the disciple's shoes. They didn't know the end of the story. They didn't have the cheat sheet. All they knew was pain.

Saturday was the day God was silent. 

When death reigned and darkness seemed to have the upper hand.

When shattered hearts wept for their Messiah with no hope, no light, and no answers.

When confusion hammered into the foundation of belief and doubt clouded firm conviction.

Jesus was dead. And with Him, every hope that He was the One He claimed to be. What now? How could He be dead? I thought He was the answer. Where was God? Why would He allow His Son to be killed?

But why should we ponder all of this? Why does Saturday even matter to us?

Because we need to remember this in our "Saturday seasons". 

When tragedy strikes and the pain is suffocating.

When our faith is shattered and we turn to God with clenched fists and scream, "I thought you promised!"

When the unknowns are more numerous than the answers and Heaven appears to watch in silence.

It's in those moments, we need to be reminded. That this is NOT THE END of the story. Did you hear me, friend? This is only Saturday! Don't lose hope. Hold on to your God. Flood your heart with His promises. Trust, even in the silence, and know that He is working behind the scenes, unawares, and unseen.

Hold on. Because Resurrection Sunday is coming. 

He is not a passive God. His love is not cruel or unjust. He is using the pain and frustration and confusion of this season to grow and strengthen and mature you in ways He couldn't in the easy. And His love will not stay silent forever.

He is coming, dear one. In His time, He will wipe away your tears and bring healing to your heart. He will provide the answers. Fulfill the promise. Burst through the darkness with His victorious light.

And that's something to celebrate. Even on Saturday...

The King's Reign

Easter is only a couple days away. We tend the hear the same stories around this time of year, don't we? The triumphal entry on Palm Sunday or the Last Supper with Jesus and His disciples, the agonizing crucifixion, and finally the triumphant resurrection.

But I love how deep the word of God is. Do you know what I mean? Like, how you can read it year after year, and new truths and concepts stick out to you at different seasons/times in your life. It's like digging for treasure. Sort of. Except without all the sweat and dirt and back-breaking shoveling. But, you get what I mean. Right?

I was reading the story of the triumphal entry this past Monday (confession time...yes, I was a day behind). Instead of stopping at the end of that story, I kept reading. And it led me right into another interesting passage.

Somehow, I forgot that Jesus went directly from being hailed as the Messiah and ushered into Jerusalem with celebration, to entering the temple courts and cleaning house.

He entered Jerusalem on a donkey's colt, which was a symbol of royalty and the fulfillment of a Messianic prophecy in Zechariah. The crowds were going wild. Finally, the Messiah had come to free them from the oppression of the Romans! Hosanna was their chant, which literally means "save now!" I can just imagine the excitement, anticipation, and ache for it to be true. The longing for the fulfillment of the Messianic prophecies was centuries old and driven deep into the heart of every Jew. Could this Jesus really be the One?

Do you think the people of Jerusalem expected Jesus to establish His earthly rule on that day? To gather His disciples around Him and set up positions and military plans and smuggle weapons? Can you imagine the excitement of the disciples in that moment? After three years of following Jesus, it was finally going to pay off. Who would be Jesus' advisor? Who would be His military leader? If I expected this Jesus to be the Messiah, I would have expected Him to show some sort of military agenda. But what does He do?

"And Jesus entered the temple and drove out all those who were buying and selling in the temple, and overturned the tables of the money changers.." (Matthew 21:12)

Wow. He pushes through all of their preconceived ideas and reminds them that His reign is spiritual, that His kingdom is heavenly, not physical. That He wasn't there to get rid of the Romans. He was there to sanctify His bride.

If I was in that crowd, I'd be really disappointed. Like, what was that? Did we just get distracted on the way to overthrowing the entire Roman empire? What's the big deal with a couple of salesman in the temple?!

But isn't that how I can often be? I can sing the worship songs and get excited about certain passages of Scripture. I can do ministry and _______. But when the Holy Spirit puts His finger on those certain areas of my heart - those dark, dusty corners that I've kept hidden for so long, I shirk away and try to protect myself. The attitude I've grown accustomed to, the lies I don't even realize I believe, the thoughts I would rather no one see.

When Jesus comes as King, He comes to reign. And a good king doesn't allow the enemy's fortresses, weapons, and laws to stay around in his kingdom. He comes to cleanse, to purge, to purify. He purchased every single nook and cranny of our lives with His blood. He has the authority to shine His light over every dusty, cobwebbed crack and corner. No matter how uncomfortable or painful it is in the process.

Because He's also coming to heal. 

Matthew 21:14, the verse directly after the temple cleansing, states: "And the blind and the lame came to Him in the temple, and He healed them."

Really? The Messiah? The One, who just might be the Long-Awaited One? He might have been sidetracked on the temple cleansing, but now this? What is He thinking? A king doesn't associate with the outcasts of society! Doesn't He know the importance of His mission? We're talking about the Romans here. Not the sick!

Yes, this is Jesus. The Messiah. The Chosen One. And His reign is spiritual dominion and redemption and compassion. He reaches into the dirty and messy of our life. He moves into the dark to cleanse and heal and restore with the strength and authority of a king, but the care and tenderness of a friend.

Jesus could have just spoken a word and sent mass healing to all the sick, all the blind, all the lepers, etc. But what does He do? Throughout the Gospels, we see Him healing one-by-one, talking with the outcasts, touching the unclean, and liberating souls as well as bodies.

So don't fear His reign. Don't squirm away from His touch. He brings life. He brings holiness. He brings healing. 

A Trip on the Merry-Go-Round

Yep, you read that title right. And no, I'm not giving any secrets away. You'll just have to wait and see what that means. First, it's confession time.

Let's see. It's been, oh, nine days since I wrote the post about letting go. How has everybody else done with that one? Because this girl right here has some serious short-term memory issues.

Last week, it was really something. It was a normal Friday morning. I had my to-do list full of hopeful expectations for the day. Morning to early afternoon was devoted to homeschooling my cousin, Corinne, and getting through my to-dos. Afternoon to evening was given to my nanny job. There wasn't much wiggle room.

But what I didn't account for as I carefully scrawled in my plans was that within the hour, my mom, dad, and younger sister would all start feeling sick. Like, really sick. Awesome.

It felt like I put my planner in a blender and watched it get mushed into a million, tiny pieces. Yeah, it wasn't pretty. I was running around the house, juggling teaching with setting up activities for my two youngest siblings, while making lunch for everyone and caring for the sickies - all before I had to get ready and leave for work.

I'm fine, I told myself. This is no problem. I can serve my family. That's great.

My emotions weren't buying it. NO! This is not okay. This is an absolute disaster! Serving your family was definitely NOT on the to-do list!

And unfortunately, my emotions were winning out.

How dare they all get sick like this! I thought, as I rushed up the stairs and stormed into my parent's bedroom. "Can I get you anything?" I punctuated that question with a deep sigh, just to make sure they knew exactly how much this was inconveniencing me.

I know. I'm cringing over here, people. And umm, this is probably not a good time to mention that the sickness my family had was the same one I had had a couple days prior. So, I was mad at them for getting the sickness I gave them? *cough* Not a star moment, huh?

The joy I had felt during devotions was gone. I mean, like, packed-up-and-went-hauling-to-the-airport kind of gone. All my good expectations? My desire to abide in His presence and let go of my control? They must have all decided to take a family vacation that day.

And I was left, stuck on my own merry-go-round of bitterness, self-pity, and straight up angst. For those of you who know what I mean, that is not a fun merry-go-round to be on. Or get off of. Because once you're on that thing, it only spins faster and faster and faster. Eventually, the world around you is just a splash of colors and you're feeling so sick that you'll give anything to make it stop. But the longer you stay on the merry-go-round, the faster it goes. And jumping off that flying circle is going to hurt. A lot. It's either that or puking your guts out. Neither of those options sound very appealing.

Why, oh why, do I ever get on the merry-go-round?

But even as I hesitate in that swirling chaos, I hear His voice. In the jumble of color, I catch a glimpse of His outline, standing there. His arms open wide. He's calling to me. Me? The one who disobeyed Him in the first place by getting on this wheel of death. He's standing there and I can just make out His voice, "Come to Me, you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

And I jump.

On the morning I acted like a decapitated chicken, I could sense His prodding, sense His voice calling me back to Him. I knew I was wrong. I knew that my attitude was downright rotten - and that it was only getting worse as I allowed it to continue. But I didn't want to stop and admit it. It felt better to be upset.

Remember the story of Martha in the Bible? What were Jesus' words to her? "Martha, Martha, you are worried and burdened about so many things..."

Yikes. Am I the only one who can relate to that? That word "worried" means "to be anxious, troubled with cares, to seek to promote one's interests, caring or providing for". Wow. How often I seek to do good, but allow the cares and concerns of the logistics or the busyness to overwhelm me? But that's not just all. I was frustrated with my sick family because I wasn't able to get to the things I wanted to do. Selfishness. It goes back to the heart posture.

I love the contrast of Mary. Sitting at the feet of Jesus, simply looking up at His face, enamored with all that He is and catching every word as if it were gold. It was as if she didn't even hear Martha's shrieks of injustice and demands for help. She was undistracted. Undisturbed. Focused on her Lord.

That's where we have to have to start, friends. At His feet.

Because eventually, that to-do list does have to be attended to. That housework won't vanish on its own. That college paper won't write itself. That volunteer work is wonderful and right. We're not called to do nothing. But where is your gaze? What is your focus? What is your heart posture?

"...one thing is necessary..." Those were Jesus' words to Martha. Is He saying the same to us today? In all your striving, all your busyness, all your good intentions, have you misplaced your One Thing? Your One Love? Your One Need?

Don't let the merry-go-round entice you. I'm telling you from experience, that circular contraption is not worth it. Ever.

Let Go

I'm just going to get this out of the way. I'm writing this post for me, okay? Because I desperately need to hear these truths right now. This is soul-preaching here, people. Let's go.

See the picture on the right? Go on. Turn your eyeballs over there and read it. What do you think?

You know the verse, right? "Be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10) We use it all the time - on our mugs, our wall decor, our jewelry.

But if we know this verse so well, what's the big deal about "letting go" versus "being still"? Why does it matter?

The difference might very well be insignificant to you and that's alright. Remember, I'm writing this to myself. And self needs to be reminded of the difference. ;)

I like control. I like planning. I like feeling like I know where I'm going and understanding the steps needed to get there. But unfortunately (actually it's quite the opposite, but my controlling self likes to think it's unfortunate), being in control isn't exactly my job description. There's Someone else who owns that title. No matter how often I forgot - or simply ignore - the fact.

It amazes me. I've been through several major seasons in my life where He's had to teach me to trust His guidance - and He's always proved faithful. In spite of that, when I find myself looking at an unknown, an uncertain future or a big decision that needs to be made, I feel the pull to try to take control again. My fingers begin to itch and I slowly inch my way toward the steering wheel, hoping no one notices if I just use a couple fingers to help with the navigation.

Like, really? When I sit back and think about it, it's absurd. It's really the most illogical thing ever. I have a perfect Heavenly Father who's promised to work everything in life for my good and His glory. Out of anyone in the world, I should be the most fearless, uncontrolling, peaceful person.

So, why do I still feel my fingers itching for control?

Because for some crazy reason, I think that I know more about my life than the One who dreamed it up before the world was born. I think that I can figure out this next little unknown better than the Author of Redemption.

And it's in those moments when I need to be reminded to let go. Not just "be still". But let go and know that He's God. 

Let go of that doubting little voice. Let go of those past experiences that keep me shackled in fear. Let go of that desire for control. Let go of that worried grasping and clutching for answers NOW.

Let go and know that He is God -
trust,
   that He is my good Shepherd,
   that He means it when He said I shall not want;
believe,
   that He will lead me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake,
   that I need fear no evil, for He is with me;
have faith,
   that He supplies everything I need and will need in Christ,
   that He can direct my heart as simply as water running over His hands;
rely,
   on His promises of good,
   His proven faithfulness and my Father's heart for me;
be confident,
   in the revealed character of my God,
   that He will make me know His ways and lead me through every season.

Okay self. Don't let the reminder of these truths keep you from letting them impact you. Yeah soul, these questions are for you. One quick note. Letting go doesn't mean inactivity. Sometimes it does. But other times, it'll simply mean letting go of the fear of moving forward. Dropping the excuses you've been hanging on to for so long.

So...
What are you holding on to today?
Are there areas in your life you've been fighting for control?
Has the Lord been whispering to your heart to let go of something? To let go and give it
to Him, because you trust Him?
Have you been holding on to excuses for inactivity? Do you need to move forward in something you know the Lord is urging you in?

If you answered "yes" (like me) to any of those questions, the next question is: What are you going to do about it? No, don't move on to another website, another task, another distraction. Right now. Do you hear Him?

"Let go and know that I am God."

Will you?

When I Don't Accept His Gift

"And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the Righteous..."

1 John 2:1

I was reading 1 John this morning and came across the above gem. Advocate. I wanted to know the full meaning of that word, so I looked up the Greek definition. This is where anyone who's followed my blog for awhile can shake their head and say, "There she goes again." Yes. I love words. And definitions. And particularly words with rich, deep definitions. It's like searching for buried treasure. So, let's go digging! :)

Parakletos - advocate, helper, aid, assistant, comforter, pleader, counsel for defense, intercessor, called to one's aid

Isn't that rich?! And let me tell you a secret. You probably already knew that Greek word. John, the beloved disciple of Jesus, was the only one who used that word in the New Testament, both in John and in 1 John. In John, he uses it to describe the Holy Spirit. What are some of the most common names of the Holy Spirit? The Helper. The Comforter. You've heard that, right? Well then, you already knew the word. Yes, you have my full permission to go do a celebratory dance. We need to celebrate the little things, right? So, go. Dance it up. 

You back? See. That was fun, wasn't it? Now, even though you're super smart and already knew a Greek word, I want you to look at that definition again. But this time, read it like you've never heard it before. Allow the Lord to amaze you by what He's promised to be for us.

Jesus is your Parakletos.

Your advocate.

Your helper.

Your intercessor.

Your comforter.

Your assistance and aid.

Your counselor.

I was struck by what a gift I've been given in Jesus. And how little I expect Him to be what He's promised.

You see, this word "parakletos" is just one title of our God. Think of the hundreds of other names in Scripture. Bread of Life. All-Sufficient One. Beloved. Captain and King. Good Shepherd. Righteousness. Everlasting Father. The list goes on and on. All this in Christ. 

But how often do I run to Him to be my Helper when I'm struggling? Or seek my Counselor when I don't know His will in a decision? Or keep my eyes on the Shepherd when plodding through a day?

Oftentimes, I don't need a Helper, because I've already gushed my problem to my closest friends.

I don't seek the Counselor, because I've sought the latest self-help books and websites. 

I can't keep my eyes on the Shepherd, because I'm too busy running my own life.

It's sad, but true. How has my thinking become so backward?

I want to be a wife someday. (I know it seems like I've jumped ship and abandoned any thought flow I had. Just stick with me and I promise this will make sense in thirty seconds.) I want to be the best wife ever. (Go ahead and roll your eyes. I don't mind.) I want to be my hubby's eager helpmate, passionate lover, best friend, greatest encourager, and closest confidante. 

But what if six months into marriage, he started spending most of his free time with his buddies instead of me? And what if he no longer asked my advice, but depended on his boss? What if - what if he no longer found delight in my body, but turned to the fake reality of pornographic images?

Is my marriage analogy starting to make sense now?

"Sure," my husband could say, "I might not be the perfect guy, but I wake up and kiss my wife every morning, provide for her financially, and spend fifteen minutes or so of quality time with her, explaining the errands I need her to run and the chores that need taken care of. Oh, and I say 'please' and 'thank you', like, all the time. I don't see what her issue is." 

Ugh, this hurts. How do I slip back into that mindset so often, when it's SO ugly? I've been given the greatest Gift this world has ever known - and I'm disinterested? 

Oh friends, do you see Him? 

• The One who joyfully agreed to go through one of the cruelest forms of torture and endure the full penalty of His Father's wrath for you, before an atom had ever been created. 
• The One who single-handedly defeated all the powers of hell and sin and death combined and is right now Lord. Over. All.
• The One who watched your entrance onto the grand stage of life, seeking you out in love, as you turned your back on Him. 
• The One who's heart has been beating with this consuming, unconditional love for you, even in your moments of deepest rebellion and darkest shame.
• The One who found you at the worst, led you to the cross, and showed you His adoption papers. 
• The One who bids you to run confidently, boldly, excitedly into His throne room, because you're covered in His very righteousness.
• The One who knows all the lies the Enemy keeps whispering, all the shame he keeps replaying in your head and bellows over it all, "That child is Mine." 
• The One who provided His very life and power to you, so that you don't have to "stick out" this holiness thing yourself. 
• The One who is now waiting for you and looks with anticipation for the day He gets to enjoy uninterrupted communion with you forever. 
• The One whose name is Jesus. 

Let's not seek lesser things, friends. Let's not allow other things to satisfy and tear us away from the Best. Let's not walk around like spiritual paupers, when we're filthy, filthy rich.

Let's accept the Gift.

Expectant Joy

Happy New Year, friends! Anyone else out there still finding themselves writing 2015? It's okay. We'll get it...eventually. Maybe by 2017? ;)


A new year - a fresh canvas with endless possibilities.

Last year's canvas is a bit painful to look at. Yes, there are colorful splashes of exciting adventures, new seasons, and great blessings, but there's also more brush strokes of brokenness, confusion, and disappointment than I've seen in previous years.

At the beginning of 2015, I believed the Lord was leading me to focus on the word "trust" for the upcoming year. It makes me smile to think of it. He brought that up in far more ways than I could ever have imagined - or would have wanted to.

In the past few weeks, as I'd been pondering a new year and what it might hold, there was a sense of apprehension and fear. The Lord had allowed much of my beliefs to be upended in 2015. I thought He was working in a specific way, only to find out He was doing the opposite. A saying that a dear friend framed and gave to me as a gift, sums up what He was teaching me: "And if not, He is still good."

And He is good, friends. So good. Looking back at that dark time, I'm amazed at the patience and love He showed me, as I struggled through doubts and confusion and anger at His will.

He's brought me through, but it wasn't until I began to think about 2016 that I realized there were still some lies rooted in the deep, dark corners of my heart. Where was this fear and apprehension coming from? Why was I seemingly preparing myself for another year of pain and unanswered prayers? Why was I so negative about the future?

Even though I still believed that God is good and He causes all things to work together for my good and His glory, there was a little lie that said, "God might give good gifts to the rest of His children, but not to you. His good for you is pain and suffering." So as a result, I was expecting the worst.

Friends, that's a miserable way to live! It is definitely NOT walking in the hope and life of Christ! And what is hope but the confident expectation and assurance of God? Yes, sometimes His good comes in the form of a "no". It's what I've been calling His devastating grace.

But hope is based, not in what I am or am not getting from God, but in who He is and the unchanging nature of His character. And because of that, I can expect good from God in chaos, I can be confident that He's still working good in the shattered pieces.

Because His name is Faithful and True.

Because He is NOT cruel to His children. Ever.

Because He is a dearer Daddy than my mind can comprehend.

My word/phrase for this year is expectant joy. Purposeful, hope-filled, moment-by-moment joy and delight in Who He is and all that He's doing. Not seeking to rush ahead to when ____ happens, but living in grateful contentment right here, right now. Rejoicing because in His presence is fullness of joy, not a situation or a person or a specific season.

One definition of expectant is watchful, with bated breath. That's how I want to approach 2016. I have so much to learn in this area, so far to grow, but I pray that He would make me like the psalmist who said, "Come and hear, all who fear God, and I will tell of what He has done for my soul." (Psalm 66:16) That as I go through this year, with all its uncertainties and questions, I would watch for the testimonies of grace and excitedly declare, "Look! There He is again! Look at what He's done! Isn't He good?"

In the pain. In the triumph. When He gives and when He takes away. Through the desert and through the mountains. When I can see the next mile ahead of me and when I can barely make out the next step.

I'm excited for 2016, friends, incredibly excited! I know the One who's promised to lead me by the hand every step of the way. Let's watch for His goodness together!

So, what about you? What has the Lord been laying on your heart for 2016? I would love to hear about it!

I'm back!

May 31, 2014.

That was the date of my last blogpost. Wow. Has it really been over a year and a half since I wrote on my blog?

It's amazing to think how much has happened in that time. All the different seasons of life, the trials, the joys, the questions, the growing. In that time, I've moved to Colorado to work at a ministry for almost a year, moved back home again, and have been homeschooling my cousin since September. Maybe more of those stories will come later...

I actually wasn't planning on resurrecting Unmerited Redemption. I thought my blog days had come and gone - and I was alright with that.

You see, around the time of my last blogpost, the Lord began opening my eyes to something that had been growing and festering and eating away at so much of my life. Pride...disguised as holiness. That's the ugliest kind.

Self-righteousness. Comparing my "standard" to others and judging those not following them. The list of do's and dont's. Beliefs that I clung to and boasted in. And I was blinded to how deep the pride had burrowed in my heart.

Jesus started shining His light in my heart and showing me the uglies. So, I stopped writing. I didn't want to continue a blog that had been used to boost my selfishness. But friends, the precious thing about our Savior is that He doesn't leave us in the uglies. He doesn't show us our sin to lead us to shame, to live in condemnation, or to hide from Him in guilt. He shows us our sin to lead us to the cross. To lead us to His perfection and the strength that only He can give.

That's the beauty of sanctification, of redemption. He can take what I've done with prideful motives and redeem it to show off the beauty of the cross. "For My power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Paul understood this, didn't he? In the last part of that verse he writes, "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." In the blogging world, there's an appeal (at least for me) to hold up a mask and try to show off my "put-together" Christianity. To look as clean and neat as possible. But that's not what I'm here to do. That's not what shows off my Jesus. I'm here to boast in His strength, to celebrate the victories He brings, and be open and honest about the struggles that are real. The difficulties that seem overwhelming or hopeless. The pain that feels pointless. Masks off, okay? Because we might all be in different seasons, but we're all just little sheep being led by a great Shepherd. So let's walk this journey together, shall we?

Arise, O Man of God

I'm treading on dangerous ground with this post.

Lust is not often discussed, much less by a young woman. It is brushed under the rug, ignored, and even accepted by far too many churches. Christian men, leaders, pastors - all have given in to this sin,but many are suffocating under it. Hardly anyone seems to believe that true victory can be found. Why do the headlines ring with the scandals of Christian leaders? Abuse. Pornography. Affairs.

It breaks my heart and angers me to see the way Satan has such a strong hold on my brothers in Christ! I've written the following as an encouragement to you. I know I don't understand the struggle that you deal with in lust, but I know the power of the God who lives inside of you. This battle is a hard one. The world you live in does not make purity easy. But, there is hope. There is freedom to be found in Christ.

I know. Women are plagued by their own temptations and are susceptible to lust as well. But, I am addressing this to Christian men because you are the ones chosen to lead the Bride of Christ. You are the ones with the weight and privilege of leading your family in righteousness. You are here to display Christ, my brother. He can and will do amazing things through a life surrendered to Him! I'm passionate about biblical manhood, and I long to see the mighty man of God rise up and show the world the power of the cross. So this, my brother, is for you. I do not post this with a heart of condemnation or hatred. It's quite the opposite really. Whoever and wherever you might be in this struggle, I love you as a sister in Christ and am praying that this will spur you on to fight the good fight, robed in the righteous purity of Almighty God.

O weak and weary brother,

Bound and shackled by your sin.

The hounds of lust have pestered

And you’ve given in again.

The world cries, ‘Just accept it!

That’s how you’re meant to be!’

 But don’t listen to those lies;

God’s man lives mightily.

Where are you men of honor?

Have the faithful disappeared?

Fierce lions roam the land unchecked,

While the world sits back and sneers.

Victory is possible,

There’s One Who paved the way.

Your Savior bled to bring you life;

There’s freedom in His wake.

Resolutions will prove futile,

Your strength will only fail.

But look to Him and plead His grace,

The Lord will soon prevail.

I know that I am just a girl.

What right have I to speak?

But brother, He has burdened me;

I long to see you free.

It breaks my heart to see the church

Enshackled by her sin.

O God, arise and cleanse Your bride!

Bring purity once again!

Raise up a mighty army,

Restore the godly man!

With eyes and hearts for You alone,

May they vanquish Satan’s stand.

Awake, O slumbering soldier,

Don’t you hear the Captain’s call?

With the cross of Christ before you,

Live to prove that He is All!

~MJ

Cherished Adoration ~ A Poem

O little heart of mine,

Won't you make your Savior glad?

Forsake the fleshly trinkets

For the Treasure of the Lamb.

"My love is weak, my heart is cold,"

You whisper fearfully.

But Jesus strokes your brow and says,

"That love is what I seek."

An upturned gaze, a word of praise

Arouses His great love

The very heart of Heaven speeds

At the smallest act of love.

Your love is His great treasure,

It's the crown of His delights.

So, pour it out, however small

On Christ the crucified.

~MJ

To the Weary Heart

The word "wait" is a term scattered all throughout Scripture. In Psalm 37, the Hebrew word "chuwl" is translated as "wait patiently". Yet, when I studied this word deeper, the definition confused me.

Chuwl- to dance, writhe in pain or fear, tremble, travail, hope, be in anguish, rest, fall grievously, trust, be wounded

"Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him." Psalm 37:7a

How could one word have such differing definitions? Dance and tremble? Writhe and hope? Trust and fall grievously? They seemed a contradiction. 

As I sought the Lord on this though, a beautiful picture came to mind. How many times is waiting an easy thing to do? How many times does that patient rest come as a result of surrender, even a tear-filled, heart-wrenching surrender? The Lord allows suffering in the life of His child to conform us into His image. As Charles Spurgeon once said, "Our Master's experience teaches us that suffering is necessary, and the true-born child of God must not, would not, escape it if he might. The jewels of a Christian are his afflictions. The regalia of the kings whom God hath anointed are their troubles, their sorrows, and their griefs. Let us not, therefore, shun being honoured."

O weary believer, would you glorify the Lord during this season of trouble, confusion, or pain? Then, wait patiently for Him. Hope, despite your trembling soul. Dance, in spite of your grievous fall. Trust, regardless of your anguished, wounded heart. For when our hearts are broken and we do not understand the Lord's ways, it is then He is able to teach us to cling to Him in a way we had never known before. 

This has been the path that the Lord has been leading me on these past four months: a season of waiting on Him, even when the road ahead is unclear or painful. The following quote has been a precious encouragement of late.

"Thou, Lord, bruisest me; but I am abundantly satisfied, since it is from Thy hand.” John Calvin

Oh, to be abundantly satisfied with His ways, even when they do not align with my own! I long for His will to be mine, that I would never doubt His goodness! And oh friends, how truly good He is! He has shown Himself so faithful over the past couple months, always near to still my restless soul. Troubled heart, your God will not forsake you! His ways are best; know that they are far greater than you could ever imagine! Even when the pain is overwhelming and your heart is left aching and bruised, trust Him. He is sovereign over all and will lead you through. 

"When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, You knew my path." Psalm 142:3a

Dear reader, He knows your path. Whatever you're struggling through right now, He knows...and His almighty arms are upholding you through it all. Turn to Him, trust in Him, and find rest in His unchanging promises. Has He ever failed you before? He will not start now. 

Ginosko ~ To Know Him

There's something sentimental about a new year. I don't know if it's the memories from the previous year or the expectations for a fresh, new one, but there is something exciting about New Year's Eve.

2014. What will the Lord do in the next twelve months?

At the beginning of each new year, I search the Scriptures and ask the Lord for a specific word or idea that He wants me to focus on in the next year. I've only done this for the past two years, but it's been so beautiful to see how He's used those words throughout that specific year. In 2012, it was His faithfulness. In 2013, it was His sufficiency. 

This year, it is ginosko. 

Ginosko is a Greek word in Scripture that means "to know." There are several other forms of the word "knowledge", but ginosko is the deepest, the most intimate. It is more than a simple head knowledge or mental assent; it is an experiential knowing of something or someone. 

About a month ago, I did a study for the word "know" throughout Scripture. In the Old Testament, the Israelites were given the privilege to know about God and to know that He was Lord. To a select few, it was given the greater privilege of actually knowing Him personally. When I reached the New Testament, there was a change. Instead of just knowing about God, Jesus claimed to "ginosko" Him. He then promised that each and every one of His followers would ginosko Him as well.

There's a huge difference between the two. To give an example, it's like knowing about my future husband and then actually knowing who he is. If I just know about him, I can have an understanding that he'll be a man of God, pray that he would be surrendered to the Lord, and look forward to someday meeting him. But once I meet my husband and know him, I can do the things I only dreamed about before: spending time with him, observing his love for the Lord, and together surrendering ourselves to Him. There's an incredible difference between the two, isn't there? One is theoretical possibility, the other is experiential fact.

The Lord has been challenging my "knowledge" of Him recently. How often have I been content to know about Him, to learn about His holiness, His majesty, His grace, His love? Yes, knowing about Him is the first step to knowing Him. But how often have I stopped there? How often do I truly seek Him, with the goal of finding and knowing Him intimately? Do I pray for Him with the passion that Hannah did, "Give me a child, or I die," or am I content to linger through life with the knowledge I have of Him right now?

For, as I've searched through Scripture, I've learned that knowing Him personally is the prerequisite to following Him, obeying Him, and loving Him. When we know this God intimately, no act of obedience will be a sacrifice. Every step after Him, no matter if it's through the rolling hills or sunken valleys, will be mere joy..because we get Him! 

Jesus. Is He worth everything to you? 

It's like the illustration I gave earlier. If you told me that I was supposed to go around and tell everyone about my future husband and how great he was, I would have a real difficult time. Yes, I'm sure my husband will be wonderful, but why would I tell everyone about him? I don't have anything to base my words off of. I don't know him yet.

In the same way, when we come across commands in Scripture like "Go therefore, and make disciples of all nations" or "Take up your cross daily and follow me," they seem burdensome and oppressive...unless we know Him. We could obey, but it wouldn't come from a joy-filled love of Him. It would simply be a duty. 

"...I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord...and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ...that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings.." (Philippians 3:8-10) Paul had caught a glimpse of the Treasure of Christ; He was willing to lose everything so that He might know and gain Him! 

As I look back at 2013, I'm ashamed at the times when I allowed obedience to be a duty, because I was too lazy to pursue Him. Lazy to pursue Him?! Think of it! We have been given the gift of knowing and loving Jesus, the Lord and Ruler of the Universe! How could I ever grow tired of that?

“So let us know, let us press on to know the Lord.

His going forth is as certain as the dawn;

And He will come to us like the rain,

Like the spring rain watering the earth.”
Hosea 6:3

May we press on to ginosko Him this year, friends! May we not grow weary of such a blessed occupation! For truly, there is no greater joy!  

"All I once held dear, built my life upon

all this world reveres and wars to own,

all I once thought gain I have counted loss,

spent and worthless now compared to this.

Knowing You, Jesus, knowing You.

There is no greater thing.

You're my all, You're the best, You're my joy,

my righteousness; and I love You, Lord."

Worth Waiting For

I absolutely love fall.

There's something about that "smell" in the air that is simply delightful!

Every time October rolls around and the leaves begin changing colors, everything becomes pumpkin-flavored, and the scarves come out of the closet, my heart leaps for joy at the new season!

This year was no different. But for some reason, there was something else that changed this fall. Something else was in the air, besides that fall aroma. At least for everyone around me, it seemed like "love" was in the air.

Out of nowhere, many of my friends have started courting/dating, are in a serious relationship, or are engaged. Facebook has never been so full of relationship statuses. And for the first time, people younger than me are getting married. What happened?

Maybe it's just that I'm finally beginning to reach that "marriageable" age. Or maybe it's just that most of my friends have reached it. :) Either way, there's a great tendency to look around and become dissatisfied.

Why am I the only single person here? Sometimes, it just seems hard to wait. For those of you who are older than me and are still single, I understand that you probably think me naive...or hopelessly romantic. But truly. When I look around at many of my friends and see them with their "special someones", there's a yearning for someone to love, cherish, and grow old with.

I have been praying about this lately; praying that the Lord would allow me to rejoice with those who have been gifted with a relationship/fiance/spouse, but to remain satisfied and overjoyed in my Love. And oh friends, how He satisfies! I know I have said this before, but truly there is no one like Him!

The other day, the Lord put several questions to my soul. I had been pondering the joys and blessings of marriage in the lives of my parents and other godly men and women and how wonderful it would be to experience that unity.

But then, the Lord challenged my heart, "What is the purpose of marriage, dear one?"

"To bring You glory, by showing the world a picture of the selfless love and union between Christ and His Bride."

"So then," came another question, "are you willing to joyfully wait until I will be more glorified in your marriage than in your singleness?"

Joyfully wait. That's the hard part sometimes. It's easy to say the right thing. To answer the "relationship status question" with the fact that you're waiting on the Lord to bring along your spouse in His perfect timing. But am I living like I believe this? Or would I dare to argue that right now is His perfect timing, that He would certainly be more glorified if He just brought along my "someone" today.

I know we probably wouldn't admit to this form of thinking, but that's how we often act....or at least how I know I've acted in the past. Do I believe my God is able to bring my spouse and I together at the right time? Then, why would I give into temptation by worrying over it? More importantly, why would I give in to unbelief by living discontentedly? Yes, His timing will probably look different than mine. He could see fit to bring my husband and I together in 6 months or in 10 years. But am I willing to wait, joyfully and contentedly wait...so that He might be glorified?

Because truly, marriage is not the "end-all". He alone is worth living and dying for. So, whether or not He brings along a spouse is not the great concern. It is His glory and His name that is to be sought after and lifted high. Not marriage. Not a relationship. But Him. That's why I must be willing to let go of any dream or desire that is not in alignment with His will. Today, it is not His will for me to be in a relationship. Praise Jesus! I am blessed with Him and Him alone today! He satisfies more than any love story could. In Psalm 16:11 King David said, "You will make known to me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; in Your right hand there are pleasures forever."

One more thought. Am I willing to pray that He will not bring my spouse and I together until our relationship will cause us to seek and love Him more? That's a daring prayer. I have seen so many relationships, even "Christian" relationships, in which the young man and woman become so captivated by each other that they lose their zeal and passion for Jesus Christ. But I have seen a few, a select few, where their relationship causes them to fall in love with Jesus even more than they did before. And not only that, but their God-written love story causes others to seek, love, and adore Him more because of it.

That's what I desire in a relationship. And that's worth waiting for.

Rich Words from Spurgeon

The Shores of Lake Michigan

If you have read some of my blogposts in the past, you probably know that I have a fondness for Charles Spurgeon. The Lord has used his words to encourage, challenge, and convict me time and time again. Spurgeon's Morning & Evening devotionals for today were very thought-provoking. These are not the entire devotionals in full, but have been slightly shortened. I hope and pray that the following will be a challenge and encouragement to your soul tonight!

"Take up the cross, and follow me." (Mark 10:21) "You have not the making of your own cross, although unbelief is a master carpenter at cross-making; neither are you permitted to choose your own cross, although self-will would fain be lord and master; but your cross is prepared and appointed for you by divine love, and you are cheerfully to accept it; you are to take up the cross as your chosen badge and burden, and not to stand cavilling at it. This night Jesus bids you submit your shoulder to his easy yoke. Jesus was a cross-bearer; he leads the way in the path of sorrow. Surely you could not desire a better guide! And if he carried a cross, what nobler burden would you desire? Take up your cross, and by the power of the Spirit of God you will soon be so in love with it, that like Moses, you would not exchange the reproach of Christ for all the treasures of Egypt. Remember that Jesus carried it, and it will smell sweetly; remember that it will soon be followed by the crown, and the thought of the coming weight of glory will greatly lighten the present heaviness of trouble.

Lift up now thine eyes to the north and to the south, to the east and to the west, for all this is thine. There is not a brook of living water of which thou mayst not drink. Be thou bold to believe, for he hath said, "I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee."In this promise, God gives to His people everything. "I will never leave thee." Then no attribute of God can cease to be engaged for us. Is He mighty? He will show Himself strong on the behalf of them that trust Him. Is He love? Then with lovingkindness will He have mercy upon us. Whatever attributes may compose the character of Deity, every one of them to its fullest extent shall be engaged on our side. To put everything in one, there is nothing you can want, there is nothing you can ask for, there is nothing you can need in time or in eternity, there is nothing living, nothing dying, there is nothing in this world, nothing in the next world, there is nothing now, nothing at the resurrection-morning, nothing in heaven which is not contained in this text-"I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. "

~Charles Spurgeon

When Plans Fail

"The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps."

Proverbs 16:9

When I came back from Ellerslie in April, I longed to go back for the Advanced Ellerslie Training course. It was about 10 months long, which seemed like a perfect time. Still pretty long but not too long. The course sounded absolutely wonderful and I believed the Lord was leading me to pursue it for the Spring of 2014.

So, I began working as a part-time nanny and raising money for Advanced. I had my plans (which I truly thought were from the Lord), but all of that has suddenly changed.

I just found out recently that Ellerslie is changing their Advanced program. Because of all the changes (they're wonderful changes, just different than what my plans were), I don't know if the Lord is calling me to go back to Ellerslie. I don't know where the Lord has me next year (He certainly could lead me to Ellerslie), but essentially, I'm back to square one: the unknown.

If you know my family's story (the Lord's leading in all of our moves), then you know how often we were faced with the unknown of where to live, what the future held, etc. And because the Lord had led us through those situations so often, there was a part of me that believed I had the whole "trusting in the Lord" lesson learned. Oh, how prideful! How foolish!

And praise Jesus, He has taken the blinders off my eyes! By removing all my former plans for next year, I was faced with the unknown again. With all my neat, little ideas gone, would I gladly trust and follow Him? What if He chose not to show me what next year holds...until next year?

These are questions the Lord has been bringing to the surface over the past couple days. And He has been so faithful to lead me back to Himself! Yes, is it easier to have the next year figured out, but there is such joy and beauty in learning to let go of "my desires and plans". For in the unknown, I am pushed to learn a greater dependence on Him. Praise the Lord for the precious, little ways that He continues to break us of ourself and turn our eyes to Him! 

I also love the timing of all of this. The Lord so perfectly chose to remove all of my plans, right before my family's vacation back to Michigan. Even though I hadn't blatantly said this, I was excited by the idea of knowing exactly what to say when all of my old friends and family ask me what my plans are. How self-reliant I still am! Jesus, save me from myself! I wanted to have a pretty "normal" answer to give to everyone, not the "I don't know, I'm just waiting on the Lord" answer that I've always had. But, why? Why would I want to remove the ability to proclaim my absolute need of and dependence on Him? To make myself look better? The Lord knows I need to be broken of that mindset as well! How gracious He is!

So friends, if any of you are wondering, I have absolutely no clue what I'm doing in the next year. And I am so excited about that! Today, I am looking to Jesus. In His perfect time, He will show me the next step. What a sweet Savior we have!

A Lesson Re-Learned

Dependent: unable to subsist or to perform any thing, without the aid of

Isn't this the perfect definition of a Christian?

I know. This word, dependence, is the absolute opposite of everything that our culture seeks to attain. Independence is the cry of the American dream.

And yet, as a follower of Jesus Christ, I know my own inadequacy. I'll shout from the rooftops that I am a miserable wretch without the grace of God. I see in my own life how selfish and utterly sinful I am without Him.

So, why do I need to keep learning this lesson, this lesson of dependence?

Why do I so quickly forget what it means to be dependent on Him, to know that I can do absolutely nothing good on my own? (John 15)

Over the past couple weeks, my main prayer has been, "Lord, make me like Jesus!" 

Over the past couple days, He's begun answering my prayer in a way I hadn't expected.

He's been showing me my sin. A neglect in abiding. A lack of love-induced obedience. My failure to completely depend upon Him. 

I've been so caught up in the busyness of life lately, that I've failed to give Him the first priority. Instead of allowing Him to wake me up in the middle of the night to pray or early in the morning to spend time with Him, I determined the amount of sleep I needed. Instead of giving Him the best hours of the day, I decided what I wanted to do.

And I wondered why I had been struggling to sense His presence? To be obedient? To know the Spirit's leading?

Oh friends, I have to keep learning this lesson...over and over again!
I AM NOTHING! HE IS EVERYTHING! 

When will I learn? When will this finally sink into my thick skull? 

Oh, He is worthy; He deserves so much more than my half-hearted love and obedience! And praise Him, praise Him, praise Him that He is so patient with His children! Through it all: every failure to abide, every negligence to depend, every time self reigns, He is faithful and His love has never changed! He is making me more like Himself by revealing my inability. He shows me out of love, so that I am led to depend upon Him afresh.

What more do I need to invoke me to worship, to joyful obedience? I have a Beloved like no other! No other Lover would bear with my weaknesses, love me through every failure, and graciously draw me back to His forgiving arms again.  And to think, He took my countless transgressions and gave me His spotless perfection! The God of the Universe sees me as righteous! Oh, what love! What glorious grace has been shed upon me, the chief of sinners!

"Nothing in my hand I bring,

Simply to the cross I cling;

Naked, come to Thee for dress;

Helpless look to Thee for grace;

Foul, I to the fountain fly;

Wash me, Savior, or I die."

Rock of Ages, Augustus Toplady

Pistikos Nardos - A Poem

Oh Jesus Christ, my Savior

bring Your fire, bring Your rain.

Burn away the dross of self-life,

'til Your life alone remains.

I want nothing more, oh Jesus

than to have a single eye.

Looking always for Your smile;

Your desire, my delight.

But how oft I am distracted;

pulled away by worthless things.

I grieve and spit upon the face

that bled and died for me!

So captivate me Jesus!

Make me ever, only Yours!

I am nothing on my own, Lord

come and take Your rightful throne.

I surrender all to Thee, O Christ;

my life is not my own.

My eyes, my mouth, my hands, my feet

are now, oh Jesus, Yours!

Burden me, Beloved King

to feel Your anguished heart.

Cleave my hand to the spiritual sword

for the voiceless one in dark.

Ever, onward, upward

soldier, will you now repine?

Your loving Savior grants you

grace sufficient for the fight.

May the cross be e'er before me,

leaving all to follow Thee.

For the Lamb alone is worthy!

May the world see Him in me.

~MJ

The Fullness of Christ

Did any of you read yesterday's morning devotion from Charles Spurgeon? Oh, it was such a blessing to my soul! I hope it's an encouragement to you as well. It summarizes a lot of what I wrote about in my last post, so I guess this is somewhat of a Part 2. :)

"In Him dwelleth all the fullness of the Godhead bodily. And ye are complete in Him." 

Colossians 2:9

"All the attributes of Christ, as God and man, are at our disposal. All the fullness of the Godhead, whatever that marvelous term may comprehend, is ours to make us complete. His omnipotence, omniscience, omnipresence, immutability and infallibility, are all combined for our defense. 

Arise, believer, and behold the Lord Jesus yoking the whole of His divine Godhead to the chariot of salvation. The fathomless love of the Savior's heart is every drop of it ours; every sinew in the arm of might, every jewel in the crown of majesty, the immensity of divine knowledge, and the sternness of divine justice, all are ours, and shall be employed for us. His wisdom is our direction, His knowledge our surety, His love our comfort, His mercy our solace, and His immutability our trust. 

He makes no reserve, but opens the recesses of the Mount of God and bids us dig in its mines for the hidden treasures. 'All, all, all are yours,' saith He, 'be ye satisfied with favour and full of the goodness of the Lord.' Oh! how sweet thus to behold Jesus, and to call upon Him with the certain confidence that in seeking the interposition of His love or power, we are but asking for that which He has already faithfully promised."

Isn't that absolutely beautiful?! And yet, how many times do I live as if these truths were simply nice poetry? No, it is a promise! Do you see it?

Again, Colossians 2:9 says, "For in Him all the fullness of Deity dwells in bodily form, and in Him you have been made complete." Paul states this inconceivable truth as a simple reality, not even a promise to be wished for. Oh, how I struggle with unbelief in this area. I look at myself: my sin, feelings, emotions and get discouraged at the lack of His life being lived in me. 

But, how has the Lord called us to accept His Word? With the faith of a child. Mark 10:15 says, "Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it at all." 

Like a child. How does a child receive something? With simplicity, gratefulness, and eagerness. How do they believe that which has only been promised them? With expectant confidence and complete assurance that what has been promised will be accomplished. They don't measure the probability or weigh the promise against their past experience. They simply trust and receive the promise with joy, knowing that it will be done.

Furthermore, what's the relationship of a child to his/her parents? It is one of utter trust and dependence; without their parents, the child will have nothing. It is only the goodness of the parents that provide the needs of the child. And yet, the child is not plagued with worry or anxiety, continually wringing their hands in questioning the parent's provision. No, there is complete peace and rest, because the child knows the love of their parents. Their parents have always provided for them in the past; why doubt them to do otherwise now?

Oh friends, may we not do our Father such a disservice as doubting His Word. Has He ever proved Himself unfaithful? What ground do you have to doubt Him then? Like I stated in the last post, your God has promised and He will fulfill His Word. 

So, do you believe that the Lord has made the fullness of the Godhead available to you in Christ? If so, is it simply head knowledge or have you reckoned it for yourself, taking that promise and making it your own? Do you believe, as the little child, that the Lord has made you complete in Himself? Have you presented and yielded your life over to Him, so that He might reign as Lord and come fill you, the empty vessel? He is worthy of it, friend.

 May you trust Him as a little child, looking into your Father's face with joy at who He is and what He is doing in you. Remember...don't look inward at your sin, your inabilities, and past failures. We have been clothed in the righteousness of Christ; look unto Him, where there is all perfection and loveliness. Praise the Lord...we are being transformed into His precious likeness! Look unto Him and praise Him for the fullness that has been given us in Him! For when you walk in joyful trust and obedience, you will begin seeing His life being radiated through you more and more! How precious is His work of sanctification!

Home Again!

Sunrise at Ellerslie

Hello again, friends! How have you all been over the past three months?

It feels strange to be posting on my blog, after such a long time away. I'm excited to begin writing on a regular basis again, and look forward to what the Lord has planned for this little blog. He is so worthy!

Ah, my dear reader, how do I begin to explain my time at Ellerslie? I've been home for nearly a month now (which is incredibly hard to believe!) and still find it difficult to answer people who ask about it.

The hardest question of all is probably, "So, what did you learn?" What did I learn in nine weeks? How am I supposed to answer that in a couple sentences? I'm still trying to figure that out...  =)

But, for now, this would be my answer.

I am absolutely overwhelmed by everything the Lord convicted me of, uncovered, and taught me during my nine weeks at Ellerslie. Like Ephesians 3:20 talks about, my precious Savior did so much more than I had asked or imagined. Being surrounded by men and women seeking hard after Jesus Christ and immersed in the Truth of His Word day in and day out were both such incredible blessings! It was truly a piece of heaven on earth.

But, the thing that was the most precious of all was time spent alone with my Savior. Being able to bask in His presence without interruption. Learning to wait upon Him and walk with Him throughout the day. Understanding that my life is nothing, but His is everything. Beginning to grasp the reality of what it means to be "in Christ". Sitting at His feet and gazing on my Beloved's face! Oh, words cannot describe what a remarkable blessing those nine weeks were...what a remarkable blessing they were because of the One who was there. Words simply fall short.

Though there were many truths the Lord implanted into my heart, the main, over-arching theme of those nine weeks was His All-Sufficiency. It seems simple, doesn't it? But do you understand how inclusive the word all is? I didn't until the Lord began opening my eyes to this. Even though the Lord had given 2 Corinthians 12:9 as my theme verse for the year, He truly impressed those four powerful words upon my soul, as He started teaching me what it means to depend upon Him for everything.

"My grace is sufficient.."

Do you see Him, friends? Do you realize that at every moment of the day, in every temptation, every difficult moment, every trial, He is sufficient? It's easy to say, but it's another thing to live by.

We live in a culture with a cure for everything. Are you tired? Try caffeine. Weighed down with the cares of life? Go relax with a movie. Struggling to get out of bed in the morning? Take anti-depressants.

Is this the way we've been called to live, as followers of Jesus Christ? Are we to look to Jesus just during devotions in the morning, but then depend upon something else for everything you need during the rest of the day? If He is the Sufficient One, shouldn't He be the One we lean on for...everything?

Now, I'm not saying that caffeine, movies, or medicine is bad in itself. But, what is your first turn? Is it to the natural, earthly realm or the All-Sufficient One?

Friends, this is something that I am learning and struggling through daily. The Lord is constantly opening my eyes to different areas of my life where I haven't been depending on Him fully.

A question that was posed at Ellerslie was this: If Jesus Christ were removed, how much of your life would stay the same? Are you so dependent upon Him that your life would completely fall apart...or...would your life look exactly the same?

You see, the fully dependent life is the life of Christ. In John 5:19, Jesus says, “Most assuredly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, but what He sees the Father do; for whatever He does, the Son also does in like manner." And again, several verses later, "I can of Myself do nothing. As I hear, I judge; and My judgment is righteous, because I do not seek My own will but the will of the Father who sent Me." (John 5:30)

Jesus did nothing of Himself; He was completely dependent upon His Father. And if that's the case, why do we (as sinful human beings) think that we can spiritually survive by spending 15 minutes with Him in the morning? Oh my friends, may He teach us to walk in a state of utter dependence upon Him! He is our only source of life; without Him, we perish. And remember, we know that when we trust in Him, He will not fail us. He has promised and cannot lie. Therefore, have complete confidence in your God, knowing that the One you depend upon is the Faithful, All-Powerful Creator and Sustainer of the Universe! What a precious Savior we have!

“Are you resting and trusting in the sufficiency of Christ? Is Christ everything to you? If so, thank Him for his fullness. If not, perhaps you’ve been trusting in failing, deceptive, inept human wisdom; meaningless religious rituals; or some kind of mystical experience formed in your own mind and unrelated to reality. Maybe you’ve been thinking that your own self-denial or self-imposed pain will somehow gain favor with God. If that’s the case, put it all aside and in simple childlike faith embrace the risen Christ as your Lord and Savior. He will give you complete salvation, complete forgiveness, and complete victory. All you need in the spiritual dimension for time and eternity is found in Him. Repent of your sin and submit your life to Him.”

- John MacArthur

Up and Away...Almost

“We are here on this earth to know God intimately, fully, correctly, and contagiously; to house His holy person in our very bodies, allowing Him to showcase to the world around us His loving nature, His attitude, His thoughts, His emotions, and His actions through the way we live every moment of our lives.” 

~Eric Ludy

Two days, my friends...two days 'til I head off for Colorado!!!

Oh, there are so many emotions whirling around in me right now. In the months since I've known I was going to Ellerslie, I haven't been nervous at all until the past couple days. How do you pack for nine weeks away from home?! Well, I've been tackling this over the past week and finished today. It feels so good to be done. And yet, I feel like I'm forgetting something! Ah! I guess I'll figure it out when I get there. :) 

Because I've never been gone from home for so long, a part of me feels like I'm going away forever. During the past month or so, I've been trying to make special memories with each member of my family. It's been so good and my family and friends have blessed me in so many ways! It's going to (and has already been) SO hard to say goodbye to each of my precious friends and family members! 

Here are some pictures...

Dear, dear friends...no, honorary sisters! I'm going to miss them more than I can say!

Last weekend, Ari and I took my mom for a girls' night out. We went antique shopping and then watched a theater production in Sumner. So much fun! ♥

Love these kiddos! 

  

Ari and I always loved ice-skating, growing up. We hadn't been in years though, so it was so much fun to experience that again! Wonderful sister date!

Me and my little man! ♥

Another theater production (this time it was The Music Man) that I took Ari to. The actors and actresses were wonderful!

Yes, this was while I was packing. I think he wants to go too... ;-)


Well, my friends, I don't know when I'll be able to post again. In light of this, I want to leave you all with a song that's been an incredible blessing in my life recently. You know when you find a song that just seems to capture everything you want to say, but don't know how to say it? Maybe that description didn't make sense, but this song is my heart's cry bottled up into 5 1/2 minutes. It's so beautiful!

Praying that the Lord would do this work in my heart while at Ellerslie and continue it when I come home...



Only You, only You
All I need, let nothing stand
In between, make me Yours
Consuming fire

Only You, only You
All I need, let nothing stand
In between, make me Yours
Consuming fire

Burn away
Everything that breaks Your heart
Everything that is not love
Purify my every thought
Take away
Everything that comes between us
Everything that is untrue
Jesus make me more like You
Burn away

You are love, You are love
Blazing light, holy flame
Fierce and wild, have Your way
Consuming fire

Yes You are love, You are love
Blazing light, holy flame
Fierce and wild, have Your way
Consuming fire

Burn away
Everything that breaks Your heart
Everything that is not love
Purify my every thought
Take away
Everything that comes between us
Everything that is untrue
Jesus make me more like You

Make me holy, as You are holy
Refine me in your fire, oh God
Make me holy, as You are holy
In my life be glorified

Goodbye, dear friends! May the Lord be with you!